Things to be thankful for...

One year ago on Thanksgiving I posted this. At the time, we had been matched with a birth mother and had so much to look forward to. It didn't work out. I don't want to rehash what happened. But I am glad I read this post again today. So much has changed in the last year. But the thoughts in last year's post have not changed. I am still so thankful.

I am thankful for our family of three.

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I am thankful my mom has beaten breast cancer.

I am thankful for my in-laws who look after Richard whenever we need help.

I am thankful for my husband who has had the biggest change in his life these last 8 months. He has passed childcare 101 with flying colors. Yeah, I might get mad at him for quoting WebMD a million times a week. But, at least he has his child's best interest at heart. Thank you, Hunter, for being a fabulous Dad!

And mostly, I'm thankful for this little guy. By the way, he just started crawling last night!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!



Thank you, Veterans!

In honor of Veteran's Day, I am reposting this from 2 years ago. My mom and I were fortunate to help welcome home the USS Bainbridge back to Norfolk after it's successful pirate-hunting deployment. My cousin, who is now a veteran, was one of her crew members. Thanks to all the veterans and to those who are still serving!

Open Adoption Roundtable #30

Do you remember the first time you heard about open adoption?
If you need some further prompting: What were the circumstances? What was your reaction? If you grew up in an open adoption, do you remember the first time you heard the label applied to your relationships?

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be listed at Open Adoption Bloggers to participate or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table. The prompts are meant to be starting points--please feel free to adapt or expand on them.

Write a response at your blog--linking back here so your readers can browse other participating blogs--and share your post in the comments here. Using a previously published post is fine; I'd appreciate it if you'd add a link back to the roundtable. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.

We were so confused about adoption. After our fertility treatments failed in 2006, we looked towards adoption. We knew we wanted to become a family through adoption. But it took us 3 years to decide how to make it happen.  We concentrated on foreign adoption because, quite frankly, that's all we could find information on back then.

We decided to go to an adoption orientation for an agency in Northern Virginia which advertised both foreign and domestic adoptions. They went on and on about the foreign adoptions. Then spent 10 minutes explaining domestic adoption. I swear the social worker rolled her eyes throughout the whole explanation. It was absolutely no help. They made domestic adoption sound impossible and there was no mention of open adoption.

Then, in 2009 when foreign adoption became much more complicated by the Hague Treaty, we decided to look into domestic adoption again. Long story short, we were lead to the Childrens Home Society of Virginia. We attended yet another adoption seminar and it is there that we first encountered the term "Open Adoption" and we truly did not know what to think. Their presentation was all about openess in adoption. Although we were not sure about an open adoption, we loved the staff and decided to take the adoption plunge.

During our home study the question about openess finally came up. They wanted to know if we would be willing to meet with the birth parents plus what kind of contact to have after the placement of the child. All kinds of scenarios were placed before us. Would we want contact with birth siblings, birth grandparents, etc. It made our heads spin. We were very conservative in our answers to the social worker's questions. Because open adoption is the norm for today's domestic adoptions, we later found out our answers to these questions kept us from many placement possibilities for about a year.

During that year I started reading adoption blogs. I can't remember which one was first. But one lead to another and another and another. And eventually I found the Open Adoption Roundtable plus Heart Cries and Amstel Life. Through all of these bloggers I was able to get a big picture of open adoption. We finally asked our agency to amend our home study to include a completely open adoption.

One year later we were matched with our son's birth mother and we couldn't be happier. We are so thankful for the time we got to spend with R and her mother. We initially agreed to send pictures and letters through the agency. And we certainly started out that way. But now we have each other's email addresses and can communicate through Facebook.

I haven't yet digested how this will all turn out. But, I am so thankful to have an open adoption. The possibilities for the future are there and I can't wait to see what happens!

Open Adoption Roundatable #29

Heather at "Production, Not Reproduction" has opened a new Open Adoption Roundtable discussion. This roundtable was inspired by her visit to the BlogHer conference. She attended a session where bloggers actually got up and read their own favorite blog entries. She has encouraged the rest of us to share our own favorite blog posts and explain why it is our favorite.

I have chosen "Come Monday, It Will Be Alright". When I posted this, we were at a crossroad. We had just experienced the loss of a failed adoption and six weeks later experienced the high of being asked to meet with our son's birthmother. We were still healing, yet we had a glimmer of hope at finally becoming parents.

9/11 Ten years on

A lot happens in 10 years. Hunter and I watched the United 93 movie last night and I reminded him that 10 years ago today, we hadn't even met. We met in November of 2001. And now we are a family of 3. He's too young to know what today is all about. But Hunter and I will make sure he understands what happened in NY, at the Pentagon and Shanksville, PA.

We survivied the earthquake and hurricane

I'm late posting this, but we made it through the big natural disaster week on the East Coast just fine. Irene hit on a Saturday. So, for once, Hunter was at home. We did just fine until 1pm and then we lost power. Hurricane with a baby, very interesting! Actually, the baby was great. I think it was just the anticipation of the unknown that made it all so difficult.

We entertained ourselves without power until dinner time. We sat looking out at our deck. I made sure the humming bird feeder was full before the storm so the birds could tank up before heading out before the storm. But they stuck around. This picture was taken at the height of the storm.

We finally fired up the generator around 6pm so we were able to feed and bathe the baby and put him to sleep. We still didn't know what would happen after midnight, so we put his pack and play in our half bath. No windows! He slept pretty good until about 5:30am.

We were all up after that. The Electric Co-Op that Hunter works for called him in around 8am Sunday morning. And so began my week as a single parent. Poor Hunter worked until after 9pm every night and was up and gone by 4:15am every morning. And just in time for this difficult week, the baby started cutting teeth!

But we survived. Hunter worked 90+ hours. It took the Co-Op about one week to get every one's power back on. It all sucked. But Isabelle was worse, so we are grateful to have been spared. Sorry to all the folks in the Outer Banks of NC and up north.

Hunter didn't see RJ from Sunday night until Saturday morning. He's still catching up on his sleep.

Come on, Irene!

Looking back over my blog, it seems like I have written about I don't know how many hurricanes, nor'easters and other natural phenomenons. Yes, I grew up and now live on the western shore of the Chesapeake Bay in Virginia, so these storms happen from time to time. And yes, I spent 4 years in New Orleans for college where I basically was on hurricane alert at the beginning of every fall semester. As a result of these experiences, I do not have a cavalier attitude towards any of these storms. I always prepare the same way. I gas up the car, get cash, make sure the pantry has non-perishable food items, etc.

I'm not one to worry about what ifs. I just deal with the storms as they come. But this one is different. It is the first time I have a child to think of. Currently, according to NOAA, we are in the pink zone which indicates we are in a hurricane watch area. We probably won't get a direct hit like the Outer Banks of North Carolina, but I can predict we are gonna lose power maybe for days and have lots of storm damage. This means Hunter will be at work from sun up until sun down until everyone has electricity and I will have to learn to manage with the baby on my own.

Storm preparation has been a little different this time. We have a generator, so we are ok for big people food and the Co-Op feeds its employees breakfast, lunch and dinner during these crises. So today I stocked up on formula, cereal and baby food since RJ just started eating these things last weekend. I get a crash course Friday night on operating the generator and then we wait and see. Oh, please let Irene be easy on us.

Hurricane + Earthquake = One big headache

It's August and time to watch out for hurricanes. Which is precisely what I have been doing for a good part of the day. The 11am advisory by NOAA put us directly in the path of Hurricane Irene come this Sunday. So there was that to worry about today. Hunter hates this time of year for that reason and has expressed a wish to move to the desert. In past years a hurricane warning means a mad dash to either get our boat out of the water or at least make sure it is secure. Then there is the generator. Hunter has to make sure it is in working order, because if we lose power in this area he is basically working from sun up to sun down for the power company. But at least we have time to prepare. It may be for nothing, but at least you can see a hurricane coming and make a choice.

I remember having a conversation with a co-worker after the Northridge earthquake in California in the 1990's. She wanted to know if I would rather experience a hurricane or an earthquake. I didn't hesitate and told her definitely a hurricane. She argued for the earthquake because it was over so quickly. I said yeah, but there's no warning. Mind you I had never experienced an earthquake at that time. So lord knows how on earth I knew that the rumble at our office today was an earthquake. But I did. And now I definitely know the answer to my co-worker's question. I'll take a hurricane any day, just not the same week as my first ever earthquake. It's gonna be a long week...

On the road again...

Another week and another road trip to Richmond. This time for a less stressful purpose. Yesterday, Hunter, Richard and I were due at Children's Home Society of Virginia (CHSVA) for our third and final supervisory visit with these nice ladies.

It will probably be the last time we meet with the staff of the agency in any official capacity. Our next step in our adoption of Richard will be in the hands of our adoption attorney. But that won't be until at least October.

It's amazing to me, this journey of ours. We started out as two bewildered people who didn't know where to turn for help with our wish to adopt. We finally found CHSVA. They have done an amazing job as far as we are concerned. Sure, we went through some tough times with some of the staff as in this episode. We also encountered adoption professionals from other agencies with varied results such as these folks.

But I am glad we stuck with CHSVA. The social workers were always there for us. I don't know how they deal with hopeful adoptive parents and not get burned out. Hunter and I are pretty easy to get along with. But I understand the desperation of some couples and I imagine it's not easy being in the hot seat when an adoption is taking longer than a couple thinks it should. So my hat is off to these ladies and their colleagues. Thank you for a job well done from our family of three!

And now for something completely different...

Four months ago, Hunter and I left VCU Medical Center in Richmond as happy, but tired parents at last. Being in downtown Richmond for three consecutive days was stressful. I used to live in Richmond, but don't have the stomach for the traffic, etc. anymore. So when we finally left the hospital I vowed not to ever go back. Until today.

But I have to back up to begin this story. In January, just 4 days after we had been informed by the birth mother in Alabama that she would not be placing her baby, I was talking to my Mom. I was still in my self-pity stage and then she threw what little sanity I had left into a tailspin. She had a lump in her breast and had just found out that day that it was probably cancer.

"What?" you say. Why didn't I mention any of this before? Well, because that's what my Mom wanted. She is an ER nurse and she doesn't like a lot of fuss. So I had to live with this knowledge and not tell a soul.

So today, after weeks of chemo and learning to love wigs, my Mom had a mastectomy at VCU Medical Center. She is doing fine. She was in her room by 1pm and demanding a Diet Coke. So, there, proof that she's fine. She still has radiation to go through. But the tumor was barely visible during her last round of scans. Fingers crossed. So this is not a sad post. It's one to celebrate my mother surviving cancer.

My Mom and I have the greatest relationship. We have the same sense of humor, and it has really helped us get through these last few months. One of the things we love the most is people watching and the color commentary that goes along with it. You know, like on a cruise ship and you see what some of the  ladies are wearing to dinner, and one turns to the other and says, "Did she look in the mirror before coming out here?" I know, we are both going to hell for it, but at least we can keep each other company.

Today, at the hospital, it was an environment rife with people watching and other dark humor. She would have loved it, but alas, she was the one in the operating room. So I have an itch to scratch and here goes.

First there was the old guy on his laptop who had some kind of electronic gadget first beep then strart buzzing. I kept looking over at him thinking he would hear it. And then he had the nerve to look at me reading my Kindle and rudely demanding I turn it on mute. Oh, he picked the wrong morning to try me. I informed him the noise was not coming from me and then he got called by a nurse. As soon as he walked away, the buzzing noise stopped. Imagine that!

Then there was misery guts lady. I heard her not once but twice tell anyone who would listen about every ache and pain she had-and she wasn't even the patient. She was waiting for her husband's surgery to be done. I wisely avoided eye contact lest having to hear her recite her list of afflictions for a third time.

Then there was witnessing the amazing job the surgical department must do everyday. They really have it down to a science. It was pure pandemonium when we arrived at 5:30am. They were calling patients names. Everybody sat down on one long wall with their families. There had to have been 30 or more people there. Nurses would take patients back and return later to summon the family. Dad and I went back to sit with Mom before surgery. All the team players came in and gave their little talks and then it was go time. There were at least 10 pre-op rooms on the corridor we were on. When we left, each door had a full surgical team ready to spring into action. We were dodging gurneys trying to get back to the waiting room. I told Dad it looked like pit row at Daytona. Dad said, "Gentlemen start your engines!" Good one, Dad.

And then there were these things.

The waiting area was so big, they have to give people these pagers. It would go off when they needed you to come to the reception desk. I was describing them to Mom and I told her, yeah, just like your favorite restaurant, Outback Steakhouse (wink, wink). But that's a story for another time.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I got to speak to Mom's doctor after the operation. His name is, wait for it, Dr. Bear. Dr. Harry Bear. LOL!

Festive Fourth for Three!

We are experiencing all kinds of firsts. Mother's Day was wonderful. Father's Day was terrific. But for anyone who know us, Fourth of July weekend is the biggest, best time of the year for us. So it has been our absolute joy to share it with our son this year. Mind you, we slowed down a lot. We did not do the fireworks. We didn't do the 5K or the fishing trip on my Uncle's boat. But we did the Reedville parade on Saturday. Somebody managed to sleep through the Firetrucks!

We went to my Aunt's cottage for a cookout on Sunday and then had crabs at Hunter's cousin's house Sunday evening. Today is for catching up on sleep and keeping cool. Happy Independence Day!!

Happy Anniversary

Hunter and I were married 8 years ago today. Normally, we would be having a romantic dinner for two about now. But, with our new addition we are grabbing bites of our take out Italian feast in between entertaining RJ and/or trying to keep him awake until bath time. And for whatever reason, Sassy Cat decided to bless us with her presence. So we made do eating at the coffee table and kitty obligingly cleaned our plates afterwards.

You will notice Hunter is shirtless. This summertime phenomenon in our house has been the one sticking point during our entire marriage. As a newly married couple, I decided a few things from the start. One was that we would sit down to dinner every night (with no TV). We actually lasted a couple of years of eating in the dining room. Then, I think, somewhere about the time of our fertility woes I said screw it and we started eating in the kitchen with the TV on.

But in those early days, I began to notice Hunter would come to dinner with no shirt. He would change into his "work" shorts to labor in the garden in the evenings. But he would not put on a shirt. So, gently one night - us being newlyweds after all - I explained to him that this was upsetting to me. I explained that no matter how hot it got in the summer, my father would not allow my brother to come to the dinner table shirtless. Hunter listened to me and then explained that it was the opposite in his house growing up. That he and his father always ate at the dinner table with no shirts.

I know it's silly to bring it up after 8 years. It's just one of those things that make a couple have to work on compromising. I still can't stand the shirtless thing, though. One of the nights before the baby was due to arrive, we had a bit of a hot spell. Hunter sat down to dinner with no shirt. I just looked at him and begged, "Can you please promise me you will not teach our son to come to the dinner table without a shirt on?" Hunter didn't say a word. He just got up and put his shirt on. I thought that was very sweet of him.

And then, a couple of weeks ago we all got up and had breakfast together. We all three sat at the kitchen table and I suddenly realized Hunter and the baby were both shirtless. ARRGGHHH! So, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em and I took this picture of Daddy and Son watching a little Sunday morning TV.

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to Hunter. Your vegetable garden might be smaller this year. But your little helper will only be growing bigger and bigger. I know you can't wait until he is big enough to help plant and pick beans. Here's to you Daddy!

Sassafras

Before I met Hunter and long before we became parents, I had Sassy cat. I call her my Millennium Kitty because I adopted her in 2000 after my previous cat, Nigel died unexpectedly. From the beginning, she was not an outgoing kitty. She would hide whenever people came over. But, amazingly, not when Hunter came into the picture. They were fast friends from the start. She had some trouble adjusting when we moved house after we got married, but things soon worked out and they were inseparable.

During our adoption wait, I always worried how she would respond to a baby in the house. She is not territorial, but she loves our attention. The first night we were home with RJ was a challenge. We had been away for over 24 hours and when we showed up, we had all kinds of family in tow. And after they left, the baby was still here. He screamed that first night at first and Sassy didn't know what to do. Slowly she got used to him and would even share my lap when I was feeding him.

Her normal routine is to sleep all day and go out through her pet door all night. But a couple of weeks ago she started acting peculiar. Try as we might, she would not come inside. It got to the point where she was losing weight because she was not eating or drinking any water. She would only come inside for a few minutes and run if the baby made any noise. The last week has been especially worrisome because of the extreme heat we have had here.

When temps were supposed to be 100+ yesterday, I convinced Hunter we needed to contain her in the house. I went outside to call her, but she was already at the door. I think she had had enough of the heat. We closed off her pet door and when we got home discovered that she had been in the basement all day. She stayed there until after dark and went back outside. I was less worried about her and let her go. This morning, she ran back through her cat door at 6:15am and stayed in all day!

It seems kitty has decided to enter into an Entente-Cordial with the baby for now. This is the closest she has come to the baby in about 3 weeks. I'm so relieved. I hated her being cut off from us. She is so much more relaxed now. Here's to one big happy family!

Waiting 101

I recently saw a topic on Adoptive Families magazine's discussion board for families waiting to adopt. The poster of the topic wanted to hear from others about how they dealt with "The Wait". Our son is now 2 months old, but the difficulty of waiting for him is still very much fresh in my mind. My heart went out to that poster. I thought about writing a reply, but after reading the other 12 remarks, I realized they had all given great advice. So I thought I would talk a little about our time waiting to adopt.

We officially waited 21 months before we got the call from the agency. But in reality we waited much longer. We finished fertility treatments in July 2006. I was immediately ready to move on to adoption in my mind and my heart. Hunter took longer to decide. In the spring of 2007 we initially agreed to adopt from Guatemala. There was an urgency to get our application in ASAP since we knew that when the U.S. became compliant with the Hague convention in 2008 that would more than likely interrupt any Guatemalan adoptions after 2008. (And it has) But, on July 1, 2007 Hunter announced that he was not ready to go forward. I was devastated and furious.

Somehow I was able to let go of the anger and soon after I told Hunter that we could always decide to remain childless. From that day, I resolved to live life exactly that way-like a couple without children. I threw myself into living every day as a married couple. I realized that in our quest for a family, I had forgotten how to be a couple. I planned fun things to do together. Boating and kayaking in the summer. Trying new restaurants. We went on some terrific vacations together and planned weekend getaways. I purposely pushed all ideas about adoption out of my mind. I never once mentioned it to Hunter again. I stubbornly decided that he would have to be the one to initiate any talk of adoption. But even though I stopped talking about it and scouring the Internet for information about it, I never could completely stop thinking about it.

So, by the time the topic of adoption finally came up in early 2009, I had already waited two and a half years. When we finally started adoption proceedings, it was such a relief. Our home study was approved in May 2009. But after that brief period of activity, I was back in familiar territory, waiting.

I truly believe our adoption journey has happened just as it should have. Every road block and dead end was meant to happen. I believe this because, looking back now, I know that I learned from every experience in this journey-positive and negative alike. And just like after the Guatemalan experience, I knew what we had to do. We had to live our life together to the fullest. We continued as before, sharing new experiences and taking the time for each other. Now with a 2 month old at home and very little sleep, I am so thankful that we took that time together so seriously. And if ever asked for advice about adoption, I think that would be number one on my list.

He's not a Butter Bean, He's a Butterball!

This is my last weekend home with Baby Richard. Monday, I go back to work. I'm dreading it. But we have found a wonderful sitter to take care of him and she is less than 5 minutes from where I work. I have warned her that I might feel compelled to come see him during the day (and that is an understatement).

I was curious how much RJ weighed. He's not due for his next check up until the end of the month and I couldn't wait to know. So my Mom, who works in the local ER suggested I bring him by to weigh him. Plus it would be a good way for her ER buddies to see him. So that's what we did today. Everybody loved seeing him. And now, drum roll please, he weighs 12.6 pounds! I couldn't believe it.

And our other child is feeling, well, a little neglected. I heard Hunter this morning when he said he was going to take this picture, but I was too tired to care. When I saw it, I couldn't stop laughing. Not very flattering of me. But still very funny. Enjoy.

At Last!

I just realized I started this blog 2 years ago this month. For anybody who has followed it, I don't think I need any words to describe what a wonderful day this is. Mother's Day at last!

Life with Baby Richard

Baby Richard has been home with us for a month now. It has been an amazing time. Family and friends have been so wonderful and excited for the three of us. We are really beginning to hit our stride as a 3 person family (plus Sassy Cat).

My cousin Lesly and her mom and daughter gave us a fantastic Baby Shower. I think it is so wonderful that everyone got to meet Richard. I never held him the whole time we were there. Everyone wanted to spend time getting to know him.

Richard's little cousin's helped pass out the presents. But they got tired of me taking so long to open them. So they made their own fun.

My cousin Maria made this fabulous cake.

Lesly always does an amazing job when she throws a party

We then went to a family celebration for another cousin who will be getting married this Saturday. Richard slept through the whole day. I was afraid we would be up all night with him, but he went to sleep around 10pm and he got to wear his spiffy nautical outfit!

Now we are settling in to day to day life. He is such a happy baby. I mentioned something about him crying to one of my aunts the other day. She was amazed. "He actually cries?" she asked. Yes, he does from time to time. Lately it seems he gets upset after bath time.

First he looks like this.

Then he looks like this

But he soon settles down with a bottle. I think he is a water baby. I hope this means he will be a swimmer. We live near the water and love beach vacations. Here comes Summer, little boy. We're going to have a great time!

Royal Wedding Preparations

Just about 30 years ago, I was excitedly awaiting the 29th of July and the Royal Wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana. I remember the night before the wedding so clearly. We had a horrible thunderstorm the night before. My mom was working the night shift in the ER. So my dad and my brother and I huddled in the family room with no electricity as the storm raged. I'm not exaggerating. The thunder and lightning were right over top of the house. With every strike, my dad would sink lower and lower into his chair. Until that night, I thought I was the only one in the family who hated thunderstorms.

It finally passed sometime after dark and then my dad and my brother went off to bed. The electricity was still off, so I refused to go to bed until it came back on. I did not have a battery powered alarm clock and the wedding was starting 11am GMT which is 6am in Virginia. I was gonna be up no matter what. So I sat alone in the candlelight and dreamed about the fireworks they were supposedly having in London that night and I waited. And waited.

I must have gone to bed at some point because the next thing I remembered was daylight. I ran downstairs to see it was after 7am. I had overslept and missed the whole thing! When I turned on the TV the new royal couple were leading the recessional down the aisle of St. Paul's. I was crushed. But back in 1981, 24 hour news stations and cable TV with hundreds of stations did not exist. So the networks, bless them, played the wedding footage all day and then had specials on all night. My mom and I laughed the other day about how I refused to let anyone change the channel all day!

So now, here I sit getting ready for Wills and Kate's big day. Deja Vu. The National Weather Service has issued a severe thunderstorm warning for our area of the state. I have just heard the rumblings of thunder. And now the rain has begun. The storm has already screwed up the satellite signal. So I can't even watch the pre-wedding coverage on TV. But we still have electricity, so far. The storm is supposed to pass after midnight, so I will continue my Royal Wedding preparations.

Kensington Palace is lit up for the night.

My Princess Diana mug is ready for Earl Grey tea in the morning (along with Richard's bottles). I did not have the foresight to buy or bake scones, so we will have some Bisquick garlic and cheddar biscuits for brekkie instead.

And now Sir Richard is bathed and dressed especially for the 4am wake up call. One of my longtime friends was in London recently. She couldn't resist buying him this onesie and bib from Harrod's and I am glad she did. So adorable.
.

And now I wait. Hopefully with electricity!

Cousins!

No explanation needed, really. Today, Richard met his first cousins, our niece and nephew. Happiness does not even begin to describe it. They fell head over heels with him!

On our way to becoming a forever family

We went to Children's Home Society of Virginia on Tuesday, April 12 to sign the official adoption agreement. This means that Baby Richard's status is no longer foster child. But, that we have agreed as his adoptive parents to take him into our home and be supervised for the next six months by the adoption agency. At the end of the six month period, the agency will make a recommendation to the courts for us to become his legal family.

We successfully had lunch out at a restaurant afterwards. Little Bubby slept through the whole thing. We never imagined that we would be able to go out to eat with a newborn. Then we stopped by Target to get a few things. Needless to say he was a tired boy by the end of the day.

In the meantime, he had his 2 week check up on Wednesday. He had gained a half pound bringing his weight to 9lbs 8oz. He is so strong. He already pulls upwards when I hold his little hands. And he has started pushing up with his feet and almost turned over at the doctor's office.

So, Hunter is back to work. I have a couple of more weeks before I go back. The time is flying. He's just two weeks old, but he is definitely the boss of this house!

You can call me anything you like, but my name is Richard

Naming this little guy has sparked much discussion. We are not unlike any other couple naming a child. Everybody has an opinion. But in the end, we (or should I say Hunter) decided that he would be named for his father. Hunter was named for his grandfather. He is officially Richard Hunter II. During the only time he and I discussed names, Hunter asked me if I thought it was appropriate to name the baby after him. I knew even before we married that it was Hunter's wish to have a son named after him, so our son would be an RHB III. I told Hunter that it was his name to give and I would stand behind his decision. And that, was that. No more discussion.

However, what to call him seems to be constantly up to the individual's interpretation. Since his father already goes by Hunter, we are left with Richard. I do not like shortening names. Rich, Richie, Rick, Dick, etc. are definitely out as far as I am concerned. Lord helps the person who calls him "Little Richard"!  So, he is Richard. I think we should call him RJ. Because, according to Miss Manners he is actually Richard Jr. not the III. (Hunter's grandfather passed away in 2002) 

Here is a list of the names that friends and family currently call him.

My mother - Jackson. That is the name she wanted for him and she secretly whispers it in his ear.

My father - Little Wooter. He secretly wants one of Richard's names to be Joseph, which is my Dad's first name. So the RJ thing works pretty well for my parents.

Our cousin Caryn - Butter Beane

Our cousin Lesly - Richie Rich (it's a long story)

Hunter - Stewpot (when he is crying)

Me - Junior (I'm so bad!)

The 10 day waiting period has ended. We will go to the agency this Tuesday to sign the official adoption agreement. We have had the most wonderful time this past week. Whatever we call this little boy, he is our miracle and we are loving every minute!

One Week Later

I'm up at one of those hours that only parents of newborns are up at and thought I would update what has been going on so far. We have had the little guy home with us for a week and it has been an amazing time.

The baby was born at 10pm, Wednesday, March 30 at VCU Medical Center in downtown Richmond, Virginia. During the next two days of visits to the hospital we experienced the Final Four frenzy that all of Richmond was under.

Friday, April 1st was spent at the hospital waiting for paperwork to be completed. It was very much a hurry up and wait kind of day.

The baby's discharge was complicated by paperwork between the hospital and the adoption agency, but eventually all was worked out. Hunter and I walked out with the baby along with R, her mother and Debra from the adoption agency. We had a brief, but heartfelt goodbye with R and her mom.

And then, we were on our way. I was so tired at that point and we still had 85 miles to go to get home. I was never so happy to make those last few miles home. Waiting for us in the driveway was my cousin, Lesly. She just edged out my parents to be followed by Hunter's parents. The baby slept the whole way home and didn't let out a peep as everyone held him and cooed at him.

I have to admit, Hunter and I were very bad parents the first 2 nights. The baby did not want to sleep on his own, so we took turns holding him while in the recliner, even at night. Of course, I took some criticism for this from my mom. Sunday night was the hardest. But I eventually, out of frustration, put him to bed on his own around 4am. I waited a whole hour to make sure he didn't wake up and then I went to bed. But not before announcing to Hunter that if he cried, Hunter was in charge. I laid in bed for another hour with eyes wide open and eventually got up around 6am to check on him. Hunter jumped out of bed from a sound sleep. "Is he crying?" he asked. No, I said. But how can you sleep, I cried, obviously delirious from exhaustion. Hunter just quietly got up and stood watch while I got some sleep.

I awoke later Monday morning with Hunter telling me he had fed the baby, changed his diaper and the baby had slept 2 additional hours in his sleeper on his own. This was a breakthrough and I was so relieved. We took him to his first pediatrician appointment later that day and stopped by my office so everybody could meet him.

The rest of the week has been filled with a mix of visitors and getting into a routine. We feel so lucky. He is such a good baby. He is just right for two middle-aged, first-time parents. Oh, and our cat, Sassafras, who is very shy of all who come to visit, she has given him 2 (or is it 4) paws up! Except for the crying parts, that is.

We are home!

No time to write. We are just enjoying being home.