So now, Richard is a very active, chatty (and a little bossy) 2 and a half year old. We've had a lot of fun this past year. We've had challenges too. He started at a local pre-school/daycare program in September. It was a big adjustment for him. He loves it, but he gets into trouble when they have to discipline him. He does his time out just fine. But throws a horrible fit when he has to say "I'm sorry". He is getting better at it however. There have been a few playground incidents, too. But he's just like all the other kids learning how to get along together.
I've watched him grow in many ways this year. It has occurred to me that he is starting to comprehend concepts like relationships and family. His world has been filled with Mom & Dad and Papa & Mamanita and Grandma & Grandpa. And now he's starting to make some friends at school. So knowing that he is understanding relationships between people makes adoption issues creep back into my mind. I believe he is at a point where we can start talking about adoption.
And it is worrying me. We never meant to keep this fact from him. But it never seemed like something he would understand, until now. I'm wishing I had found a way to bring the subject of his adoption up more in our everyday lives.
So now I'm scrambling, trying to form a plan to ease this subject into our conversations. I've seen a few recommendations for books about adoption. He loves when we read to him. So that is probably a good place to start.
One book I've read about is by Jamie Lee Curtis called "Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born". I love her and have always wanted to read her book. She wrote it for her daughter who happens to be adopted.
Before Richard was born in March 2011, I bought two copies of this book. It's a childrens book by Kelsey Stewart, a birth mother who made adoption plans for 3 of her children. She has a great blog called A Birth Mother Voice.
Before we left the hospital with Richard, I handed a copy to Richard's birth mother, R. I told her that I planned to read my copy to him one day and tell him the story of his birth. I have some really great photos of R and Richard together at the hospital and ones of all four of us. R gave us some great shots of her family. I have them tucked away waiting to show him each one. I hope he will come to love looking at these and realize that he was not "given away", but that his family made a very loving decision to place him with us. And that's what Kelsey's book is about.
I don't know how Richard is going to take the story of his birth and adoption. I imagine that he will have a lot of questions. Or perhaps he'll just accept it and get on with his busy toddler life. Anyway, I'm nervous. But I know it must be done.
I have no adoption advice to give, I would like to say what a very nice boy Richard looks. The challenges he faces at pre-school are the normal part of being two and having fun. Amazing that there are such helpful books published and no more secrets untold.
ReplyDelete