I had the best day today. I took my Mom and Dad Christmas shopping in Newport News. We went early and managed to hit Toys'R Us, Bed, Bath and Beyond and Target. Then we headed over to Patrick Henry Mall where we actually got a "Costanza" parking spot right by the mall entrance. We had the best time laughing and joking. It was one for the books.
On the way home we heard an old favorite on the XM Radio
Hunter got up at 5am to go pound net fishing with my cousin. They managed to catch some Rockfish. We are looking forward to cooking them tomorrow. We followed up this evening with a birthday party for a friend. It was lightly snowing on our way home. Now we are home and exhausted. Looking forward for a little sleep in tomorrow.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Butter Beane
I've been saving the news. But we just found out on Monday that Baby is a boy! I don't think Hunter has stopped smiling since. I know some people like to be surprised whether it's a boy or a girl. But there was no way I could wait. There is already so much to do. Finding out boy or girl is a big help. We can now paint the nursery. And, of course, this new helps in picking out a name for Baby. We have already been quizzed about this. But I think this is one thing we will wait to reveal until after Baby's birth for a couple of reasons.
In the meantime, I was reminded this week about a story from our wedding reception. As we were making our escape, our family and friends had traditionally decorated the get away vehicle. Along with the shaving cream and tin cans, they had written a message saying "Bring on the Baby Beanes" and listed Lima, String, Pinto and Greene as possible names. It was very ambitious that they thought we would beget so many beans. Anyway, one of our cousins texted me back after hearing that we would have a baby boy and wanted to know if we picked Butter, Lima or Green for a name. Well, I have decided for now to call Baby "Butter Beane".
Now, hopefully everyone will understand why this is the "Beanie Baby Blog".
In the meantime, I was reminded this week about a story from our wedding reception. As we were making our escape, our family and friends had traditionally decorated the get away vehicle. Along with the shaving cream and tin cans, they had written a message saying "Bring on the Baby Beanes" and listed Lima, String, Pinto and Greene as possible names. It was very ambitious that they thought we would beget so many beans. Anyway, one of our cousins texted me back after hearing that we would have a baby boy and wanted to know if we picked Butter, Lima or Green for a name. Well, I have decided for now to call Baby "Butter Beane".
Now, hopefully everyone will understand why this is the "Beanie Baby Blog".
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thankful
"In the happy moments...Praise God. In the difficult moments... Seek God. In the quiet moments... Trust God. In EVERY moment...Thank God!!! Happy Thanksgiving!"
As I was trying to figure out how to write this post, I noticed the above quote on one of my Facebook friend's wall. And it appropriately sums up what I wanted to express today.
About this time last year I made a couple of decisions. One was to approach every day with a positive attitude. Every moment in our journey to adopt was to be faced with optimism. For those of you out there who have been there or are going through that journey, you know how hard that can be. But I have managed it very well this past year. And for that, I am thankful.
The other thing was to give my heart over to God and His Will. I am not an overly religious person. So this was a big step and it happened in a really odd moment. I was watching a PBS program by Rick Steves. It was a Christmas special documenting all the different ways Christmas is celebrated in Europe. One of the recurring themes was light. Candlelight shining in the darkness of cold winter nights. It was so beautiful. I made my mind up while watching the program to let that light in.
I said a prayer right there and then thanking God. And I decided I would speak with Him more often. Not to ask Him to give me anything. But to thank Him for everything. To thank Him for my husband. To thank Him for my family. To thank Him for every day. To thank Him for putting the desire to adopt in my heart. I also decided to give as much as I could during this year. I called it "The Year of Giving". But I should have called it "The Year of Being Thankful"!
The only thing I asked for was patience. That prayer has made this last year so much more bearable. Hunter and I just decided to get on with life and not worry about when we would become parents. We spent this last year living for each other. I think that is what needed to happen to make us finally ready to become parents. And for that, I am also thankful.
So, thank you, Melanie for posting that wonderful thought today. Please know that you have inspired me. I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving Day and a joyous holiday season filled with the true meaning of Christmas.
As I was trying to figure out how to write this post, I noticed the above quote on one of my Facebook friend's wall. And it appropriately sums up what I wanted to express today.
About this time last year I made a couple of decisions. One was to approach every day with a positive attitude. Every moment in our journey to adopt was to be faced with optimism. For those of you out there who have been there or are going through that journey, you know how hard that can be. But I have managed it very well this past year. And for that, I am thankful.
The other thing was to give my heart over to God and His Will. I am not an overly religious person. So this was a big step and it happened in a really odd moment. I was watching a PBS program by Rick Steves. It was a Christmas special documenting all the different ways Christmas is celebrated in Europe. One of the recurring themes was light. Candlelight shining in the darkness of cold winter nights. It was so beautiful. I made my mind up while watching the program to let that light in.
I said a prayer right there and then thanking God. And I decided I would speak with Him more often. Not to ask Him to give me anything. But to thank Him for everything. To thank Him for my husband. To thank Him for my family. To thank Him for every day. To thank Him for putting the desire to adopt in my heart. I also decided to give as much as I could during this year. I called it "The Year of Giving". But I should have called it "The Year of Being Thankful"!
The only thing I asked for was patience. That prayer has made this last year so much more bearable. Hunter and I just decided to get on with life and not worry about when we would become parents. We spent this last year living for each other. I think that is what needed to happen to make us finally ready to become parents. And for that, I am also thankful.
So, thank you, Melanie for posting that wonderful thought today. Please know that you have inspired me. I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving Day and a joyous holiday season filled with the true meaning of Christmas.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Home Study Update
Today we had a meeting with our adoption agency's social worker to update our Home Study. Our Virginia Home Study conducted in 2009 is valid until May 2011. But the agency that is handling the placement is in Texas and there, Home Studies are only valid for one year. I thought we would just be able to go to the agency for a meeting. But no, the social worker needed to come to our house.
As you can imagine, there was a frenzy of cleaning going on this weekend, Monday and Tuesday. I'm talking about going so far as washing windows and cleaning ceiling fan blades. I even got home a little early to do some last minute tidying up this afternoon. And then I panicked about our basement which is still in the progress of being finished. Should I write something up showing how we would spend the next few months putting the final touches on the basement? Would she insist on seeing it like our last social worker did when she came to visit us a year and a half ago? Even though we have done this before, I started having all kinds of paranoid thoughts. Maybe she would check the cabinets to make sure we didn't have any cleaning products within a child's reach. And on top of everything, she was about a half hour late allowing me more time to let my imagination run wild.
And in the end, she just sat us down at the dining room table and we had a lovely hour or so with her explaining the paperwork we needed to fill out. Most of it is just an update of forms we have filled out before. She did ask a few questions about what our plans were for maternity leave and child care after Baby comes home. But that was it. This is our third social worker at this agency since we started and this was our first time meeting her. Well, I hope she sticks around. We had a great chat with her and she was so helpful in so many ways. And the only time she left the dining room was to use the restroom just a few steps away. Ah, all that extra cleaning (and worrying) for nothing.
As you can imagine, there was a frenzy of cleaning going on this weekend, Monday and Tuesday. I'm talking about going so far as washing windows and cleaning ceiling fan blades. I even got home a little early to do some last minute tidying up this afternoon. And then I panicked about our basement which is still in the progress of being finished. Should I write something up showing how we would spend the next few months putting the final touches on the basement? Would she insist on seeing it like our last social worker did when she came to visit us a year and a half ago? Even though we have done this before, I started having all kinds of paranoid thoughts. Maybe she would check the cabinets to make sure we didn't have any cleaning products within a child's reach. And on top of everything, she was about a half hour late allowing me more time to let my imagination run wild.
And in the end, she just sat us down at the dining room table and we had a lovely hour or so with her explaining the paperwork we needed to fill out. Most of it is just an update of forms we have filled out before. She did ask a few questions about what our plans were for maternity leave and child care after Baby comes home. But that was it. This is our third social worker at this agency since we started and this was our first time meeting her. Well, I hope she sticks around. We had a great chat with her and she was so helpful in so many ways. And the only time she left the dining room was to use the restroom just a few steps away. Ah, all that extra cleaning (and worrying) for nothing.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Rule Britannia!
Here's a confession: I am a Britophile. I can't explain when it first occurred to me that I was. It has a lot to do with my Dad's family's English roots. But specifically I became enamoured of all things British beginning with the announcement of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer's impending nuptials in 1981. I have been following the British Royals ever since. I remember the Wales' wedding day like it was yesterday. For better or worse, I couldn't keep myself from reading the gossip during the Windsor soap opera when they separated and divorced. And, of course, I was heartbroken for Diana's sons when she died in the crash in Paris in 1997.
So when I awoke this morning to see the breaking news of William and Kate's engagement, I felt I had come full circle. It's silly and I know plenty of folks in Britain who wish the Monarchy would go away. But I love it. And when I found out today that William presented his fiancee with his mother's engagement ring when asking for her hand in marriage. Well....waterworks!
Congratulations to the happy couple!
So when I awoke this morning to see the breaking news of William and Kate's engagement, I felt I had come full circle. It's silly and I know plenty of folks in Britain who wish the Monarchy would go away. But I love it. And when I found out today that William presented his fiancee with his mother's engagement ring when asking for her hand in marriage. Well....waterworks!
Congratulations to the happy couple!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Not the kind of labor I expected
When we wed 7 years ago, my husband and I knew we wanted children sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, it didn't happen the way we thought it would. Now we have been blessed with a potential adoption and we are over the moon. Sure, I would have liked to have seen that positive sign on a pregnancy test and go through all the morning sickness and ultrasounds and picking out maternity clothes. But it just wasn't meant to be and we have accepted this a long time ago.
The waiting period for an adoption makes you crazy. When you are pregnant, you can start picking out nursery decor or car seats. You have doctor's appointments and need to make arrangements for child care or maternity leave. You have busy tasks to do and a limited time in which to accomplish them. On the other hand, waiting for a birth mother to pick you leaves days and days of what ifs. It's limbo. You know that one day you will be a parent, but are left wondering what it will be like when that happens.
Well, it appears to be happening for us. After so many years of disappointment, it is hard to change your mindset and just yell "Yipee". I know, I'm Miss PMA, but we have become cautiously optimistic. Every day I get a little more excited. Today, we received Baby's first ultrasound pictures. I can't even describe my emotions about this.
And while pregnant parents are figuring out the nursery and getting ready for Baby Showers, we are inundated with paperwork. We have to have our Home Study updated. In Virginia, our Home Study would be valid until next May. But the adoption will be finalized in Texas and there you have to update the Home Study every year. The agency sent us a list of documents that we need to compile for them in addition to the Home Study update. It is amazing how much documentation is needed to satisfy state laws. One is that we need to provide documentation that our pet's vaccinations are up to date. It is that specific.
I have no problem providing the required information. But, my goodness, we already answered the most personal questions ever to qualify to be an adoptive couple and now this. I'm not complaining. I consider it an honor to go through all this scrutiny and all this paperwork and still be considered good enough to be honored with the placement of a child in our home. It's just a different kind of labor than I expected.
The waiting period for an adoption makes you crazy. When you are pregnant, you can start picking out nursery decor or car seats. You have doctor's appointments and need to make arrangements for child care or maternity leave. You have busy tasks to do and a limited time in which to accomplish them. On the other hand, waiting for a birth mother to pick you leaves days and days of what ifs. It's limbo. You know that one day you will be a parent, but are left wondering what it will be like when that happens.
Well, it appears to be happening for us. After so many years of disappointment, it is hard to change your mindset and just yell "Yipee". I know, I'm Miss PMA, but we have become cautiously optimistic. Every day I get a little more excited. Today, we received Baby's first ultrasound pictures. I can't even describe my emotions about this.
And while pregnant parents are figuring out the nursery and getting ready for Baby Showers, we are inundated with paperwork. We have to have our Home Study updated. In Virginia, our Home Study would be valid until next May. But the adoption will be finalized in Texas and there you have to update the Home Study every year. The agency sent us a list of documents that we need to compile for them in addition to the Home Study update. It is amazing how much documentation is needed to satisfy state laws. One is that we need to provide documentation that our pet's vaccinations are up to date. It is that specific.
I have no problem providing the required information. But, my goodness, we already answered the most personal questions ever to qualify to be an adoptive couple and now this. I'm not complaining. I consider it an honor to go through all this scrutiny and all this paperwork and still be considered good enough to be honored with the placement of a child in our home. It's just a different kind of labor than I expected.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Learning about Fostering to Adopt
Please visit Penelope at Foster 2 Forever. She has an adoption celebration going on for National Adoption Month. You can join her Blog Hop or sign up for some giveaways. But most of all you can learn about fostering to adopt!
Monday, November 1, 2010
National Adoption Month
November is National Adoption Month. Last year when I found out about National Adoption Month, it was when Nia Vardalos was spotlighted for adopting a young child and I was inspired by her story. Now, a year later, we are at the of beginning our own journey to adoption.
Last week was unlike anything I have ever imagined. There have been all kinds of well wishes on our making an adoption match. But there have been unexpected reactions too. Some folks are content just to say "Good Luck". But then there are others who get very carried away with asking questions. They want to know our birth mother's story and why she agreed to place her child for adoption. Or what about the birth father? Could he come and take the baby? Those are the tough questions. On the one hand, if it is a good friend asking, I'm torn. I know I can trust them, but should I?
Baby's birth mother has a right to privacy. Her story is not mine to tell. But her story will always be a part of Baby's story. You can see the dilemma. Thankfully, I understood the reasons behind the questions. In this case the questions came from those who have witnessed Hunter and I go through a lot of disappointments over the years. They just wanted to be sure we were making the best decision for our adoption.
And probably the biggest revelation this past week is in realizing so many people don't know much about adoption at all. I got really basic questions like how would we get Baby? Would the lawyer bring the baby to us? I didn't mind these questions. In fact, those questions tell me that I need to do as much as I can to educate the folks around me about adoption. I realized they don't know, because they don't need to know. They aren't asking questions just to be nosey.
I have lived and breathed and researched adoption for the last 4 years. I can't expect the people who care about me to know what I know. But I am glad that they care. And I guess that's the point of National Adoption Month. So those of you out there who see me in the street, feel free to ask me anything. Just be warned that I can't or won't share every little detail about this match. All anyone really needs to know is that Baby and Baby's mother(s) are doing just fine.
Last week was unlike anything I have ever imagined. There have been all kinds of well wishes on our making an adoption match. But there have been unexpected reactions too. Some folks are content just to say "Good Luck". But then there are others who get very carried away with asking questions. They want to know our birth mother's story and why she agreed to place her child for adoption. Or what about the birth father? Could he come and take the baby? Those are the tough questions. On the one hand, if it is a good friend asking, I'm torn. I know I can trust them, but should I?
Baby's birth mother has a right to privacy. Her story is not mine to tell. But her story will always be a part of Baby's story. You can see the dilemma. Thankfully, I understood the reasons behind the questions. In this case the questions came from those who have witnessed Hunter and I go through a lot of disappointments over the years. They just wanted to be sure we were making the best decision for our adoption.
And probably the biggest revelation this past week is in realizing so many people don't know much about adoption at all. I got really basic questions like how would we get Baby? Would the lawyer bring the baby to us? I didn't mind these questions. In fact, those questions tell me that I need to do as much as I can to educate the folks around me about adoption. I realized they don't know, because they don't need to know. They aren't asking questions just to be nosey.
I have lived and breathed and researched adoption for the last 4 years. I can't expect the people who care about me to know what I know. But I am glad that they care. And I guess that's the point of National Adoption Month. So those of you out there who see me in the street, feel free to ask me anything. Just be warned that I can't or won't share every little detail about this match. All anyone really needs to know is that Baby and Baby's mother(s) are doing just fine.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Happy Halloween Weekend
Waking up before the crack of dawn and running 6.2 miles is a funny way to celebrate Halloween. But, that's what we will be doing in a few short hours. We will be running our first ever 10K race tomorrow-the Wicked 10K in Virginia Beach. We have spent the afternoon and evening carbo-loading. Now I'm listening to the waves from our hotel.
We can't stop talking about baby. We talked to baby's birth mother last night. She is doing great. She was so excited to tell us about the ultrasound she had on Thursday. She is about 16 weeks pregnant and she wanted so much to find out for us if the baby is a boy or a girl. In the end, they couldn't be 100% sure. So we will have to wait for that news. In the meantime, she says she and baby are doing just fine. She is sending us the ultrasound pictures.
Thank you for all the well wishes. I'm still having trouble typing without crying!
We can't stop talking about baby. We talked to baby's birth mother last night. She is doing great. She was so excited to tell us about the ultrasound she had on Thursday. She is about 16 weeks pregnant and she wanted so much to find out for us if the baby is a boy or a girl. In the end, they couldn't be 100% sure. So we will have to wait for that news. In the meantime, she says she and baby are doing just fine. She is sending us the ultrasound pictures.
Thank you for all the well wishes. I'm still having trouble typing without crying!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
This Is It!
It's been a long, hard road. And there have been many tears shed along the way. But we pray now that we will only experience tears of joy.
After all the years of wishing and praying, Hunter and I will no longer only be called husband and wife, son and daughter or aunt and uncle. Hopefully, this spring we will also be called Mom and Dad. We have made a match with a birth mother!
Thank you everyone for your prayers throughout this journey of ours. Looks like we are just getting started. Check back here for more news later. I'm sure at some point I'll be able to type without crying!!
After all the years of wishing and praying, Hunter and I will no longer only be called husband and wife, son and daughter or aunt and uncle. Hopefully, this spring we will also be called Mom and Dad. We have made a match with a birth mother!
Thank you everyone for your prayers throughout this journey of ours. Looks like we are just getting started. Check back here for more news later. I'm sure at some point I'll be able to type without crying!!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Year of Giving-update
It appears my well-intentioned year of giving certainly has derailed a bit. Looks like I missed July through September. I have no excuse other than not really applying myself. When I decided to try this back in January, it was my hope I would not only give money to charities, but give of myself. But working a 40 hour week doesn't exactly lend a person much chance to volunteer. I have been asked 2 years in a row to help the YMCA with their back to school program in which they take kids to Wal-Mart shopping for school supplies. Alas, it is always scheduled for the middle of a workday in August. I work for a Heating and A/C company. August in Virginia is very hot and therefore we are very busy. But that's not a good excuse. I need to try harder. There has to be something out there. In the meantime, we're less that 2 months away from Christmas. I got a letter from Toys for Tots recently. So that's my charity for this month. If you would like to make a donation, click on this link to the website.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Be Prepared
A couple of weekends ago we got an adoption lead for a child that was to be born in less than 48 hours. It was a situation, as our attorney explained, that anybody prepared to adopt the child basically needed to get in the car the next day. We talked about it but decided it was not the right situation for us.
The next day I remembered at message board topic from over a year ago. The topic was what prospective adoptive parents should buy and have on hand for when they got "the call". One woman listed all the items she had stored in a diaper bag that would be ready to go at any moment. I actually took the time to type up a list and then promptly forgot about it.
Well, in light of that swift placement, I decided maybe I should be more prepared. So I went to Wal Mart and bought a few things off the list. Nothing extravagant. Some diapers, baby wipes, onesies and receiving blankets. I already had this great bag that I wasn't sure what to use it for. It makes an excellent make-shift diaper bag. I guess I'll keep adding to it. Gives me a little project while we wait for the call. Just another exercise in PMA!
The next day I remembered at message board topic from over a year ago. The topic was what prospective adoptive parents should buy and have on hand for when they got "the call". One woman listed all the items she had stored in a diaper bag that would be ready to go at any moment. I actually took the time to type up a list and then promptly forgot about it.
Well, in light of that swift placement, I decided maybe I should be more prepared. So I went to Wal Mart and bought a few things off the list. Nothing extravagant. Some diapers, baby wipes, onesies and receiving blankets. I already had this great bag that I wasn't sure what to use it for. It makes an excellent make-shift diaper bag. I guess I'll keep adding to it. Gives me a little project while we wait for the call. Just another exercise in PMA!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Modern Life
Last night's episode of "Modern Family" was hilarious. Especially the part about the family with the 3 kids who made a contest out of going cold turkey from any kind of electronic gadgets. You know, like cell phones and texting, IPads, video games, etc. One kid complained to her parents that she wound up with a B instead of an A on her school report because she had to use the family's (somewhat) complete set of encyclopedias instead of the Internet to do her research.
On Facebook, I notice more and more of my friends are posting from their IPhones or Droid phones. They are posting almost every move they make during the day including pictures of funny things that happen, when they actually happen. Frankly, I'm a little jealous. While I am not necessarily technology challenged. I'm definitely travelling in the slow lane. We just got a laptop last year. And my phone doesn't have those qwerty keypads for easy texting, so I have to do it the old fashioned, slow way.
But it is enough for me. We finally got the laptop because we hated not getting emails, etc. when we were on vacation or away from home for the weekend. I was so excited on our vacation in May to be able to post pics from Disney World for family and friends.
Then we decided to get into camping this summer. That's when the laptop really became a superstar for me. I could keep up with emails and Facebook. I could watch DVDs or access my instant queue on Netflix. The possibilities were (almost) endless. On our first trip it helped pass time after dark before bedtime.
But on the second trip, I discovered around dinnertime on the first night that I had forgotten to pack the little connector cable for the MiFi thing we have from Verizon. I really started to freak out. Lord, what would I do after dark? I would have to resort to simple, non-Internet Solitaire. Horrors! No Facebook. No Netflix. I would be bored out of my mind. I vowed to go get another cable the very next morning. Surely there was a Verizon store somewhere. But then I realized we were on the Eastern Shore. Not exactly a bustling metropolis. I knew it would be hopeless to find what we needed. Sigh...
But then, like the Grinch finally getting what Christmas is all about, I realized I had a great CANDACE BUSHNELL BOOK with me. So after dinner and after dark, I borrowed Hunter's head lamp, fixed a cocktail and situated myself on the air mattress to read. And amazingly, I survived the night. And actually had a very relaxing evening listening to the sounds coming from around the campground. Between the book, the nightcap and the peaceful location, I drifted into a very relaxed sleep.
However, the next morning I woke to find Hunter fiddling with the laptop. He excitedly announced that he had gotten the Internet thingy to work without the cable. Oh joy! Oh joy! I was back in action! So there it is, I'm guilty as charged and hopelessly hooked on all this technology as the next person. And, by the way, I'm looking into one of them Droid phones.
On Facebook, I notice more and more of my friends are posting from their IPhones or Droid phones. They are posting almost every move they make during the day including pictures of funny things that happen, when they actually happen. Frankly, I'm a little jealous. While I am not necessarily technology challenged. I'm definitely travelling in the slow lane. We just got a laptop last year. And my phone doesn't have those qwerty keypads for easy texting, so I have to do it the old fashioned, slow way.
But it is enough for me. We finally got the laptop because we hated not getting emails, etc. when we were on vacation or away from home for the weekend. I was so excited on our vacation in May to be able to post pics from Disney World for family and friends.
Then we decided to get into camping this summer. That's when the laptop really became a superstar for me. I could keep up with emails and Facebook. I could watch DVDs or access my instant queue on Netflix. The possibilities were (almost) endless. On our first trip it helped pass time after dark before bedtime.
But on the second trip, I discovered around dinnertime on the first night that I had forgotten to pack the little connector cable for the MiFi thing we have from Verizon. I really started to freak out. Lord, what would I do after dark? I would have to resort to simple, non-Internet Solitaire. Horrors! No Facebook. No Netflix. I would be bored out of my mind. I vowed to go get another cable the very next morning. Surely there was a Verizon store somewhere. But then I realized we were on the Eastern Shore. Not exactly a bustling metropolis. I knew it would be hopeless to find what we needed. Sigh...
But then, like the Grinch finally getting what Christmas is all about, I realized I had a great CANDACE BUSHNELL BOOK with me. So after dinner and after dark, I borrowed Hunter's head lamp, fixed a cocktail and situated myself on the air mattress to read. And amazingly, I survived the night. And actually had a very relaxing evening listening to the sounds coming from around the campground. Between the book, the nightcap and the peaceful location, I drifted into a very relaxed sleep.
However, the next morning I woke to find Hunter fiddling with the laptop. He excitedly announced that he had gotten the Internet thingy to work without the cable. Oh joy! Oh joy! I was back in action! So there it is, I'm guilty as charged and hopelessly hooked on all this technology as the next person. And, by the way, I'm looking into one of them Droid phones.
Friday, October 15, 2010
16 going on 17
We've had a few blips on the adoption radar this week. We have sent out several parent profiles for various prospective placements. Nothing to report so far. So, back to the waiting.
In other news, I will be celebrating my birthday this weekend. We will be busy. This evening we loaded up firewood to take over to my alma mater's annual oyster roast. Tomorrow we are training for our 10K debut by running/walking 5 miles. We are almost there! Getting excited about October 30th. Then we have to haul another load of wood over to the oyster roast. But tomorrow night we will enjoy the fruits of our labors and eat roasted oysters, clam chowder and hot dogs. It's a good time.
Last weekend when we were driving to Richmond, I had the XM radio tuned to "The 80s on 8" channel. Every week the former MTV veejays pick a year and they play the top 40 tunes for that week. Last week they did the week leading up to my birthday in October 1983. What a blast! Hunter kept trying to turn the volume down. But I just said "NO" and continued singing along with the tunes. Who would have thought I still knew all the words to Men At Work's "Dr. Heckyll and Mr. Jive"?
All of the memories of being 16 going on 17 came back to me during that road trip. I had one of the best years of my life in 1983. I was 16. I had my driver's license. I had great friends to keep me laughing. The day I turned 17 I was a little sad. I even looked in the mirror that day and said, "Please let me stay 16 forever" Ha, now I'm looking at 44. I look older and don't move as fast. I am wiser and I'm thankful for that. I've had lots of great years and milestones since 16. But in my mind and in my heart, I wanna be 16 forever! Rock On!!!
David Bowie's "Modern Love" was a part of the countdown. It was one of my favs from back then and is probably responsible for my teenage obsession with Mr. Bowie!
In other news, I will be celebrating my birthday this weekend. We will be busy. This evening we loaded up firewood to take over to my alma mater's annual oyster roast. Tomorrow we are training for our 10K debut by running/walking 5 miles. We are almost there! Getting excited about October 30th. Then we have to haul another load of wood over to the oyster roast. But tomorrow night we will enjoy the fruits of our labors and eat roasted oysters, clam chowder and hot dogs. It's a good time.
Last weekend when we were driving to Richmond, I had the XM radio tuned to "The 80s on 8" channel. Every week the former MTV veejays pick a year and they play the top 40 tunes for that week. Last week they did the week leading up to my birthday in October 1983. What a blast! Hunter kept trying to turn the volume down. But I just said "NO" and continued singing along with the tunes. Who would have thought I still knew all the words to Men At Work's "Dr. Heckyll and Mr. Jive"?
All of the memories of being 16 going on 17 came back to me during that road trip. I had one of the best years of my life in 1983. I was 16. I had my driver's license. I had great friends to keep me laughing. The day I turned 17 I was a little sad. I even looked in the mirror that day and said, "Please let me stay 16 forever" Ha, now I'm looking at 44. I look older and don't move as fast. I am wiser and I'm thankful for that. I've had lots of great years and milestones since 16. But in my mind and in my heart, I wanna be 16 forever! Rock On!!!
David Bowie's "Modern Love" was a part of the countdown. It was one of my favs from back then and is probably responsible for my teenage obsession with Mr. Bowie!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Back to Business as Usual
Well, we survived the flood. In 36 hours we recorded 13.5 inches of rain. And then we had a more gentle rain on Sunday. Nice to see the grass greening up a bit. Afraid it won't be a very colorful fall due to the drought. Anyhow, we are now headed for fall fun. We have an oyster roast in a couple of weeks and we have been training for the Wicked 10K race in Virginia Beach on October 30th. We did 4.5 miles on Saturday and felt pretty good afterwards.
We had a bit of action on the adoption front in September. We sent out 3 parent profiles in early September. We didn't hear anything until I got an email from one of the agencies a couple of weeks ago. They had a mother who was interested in placing her child for adoption. It was a different one from the one we had responded to originally.
Later that night the social worker called my cell phone. I was a little leery after the last experience we had. But she just let us know that we could access the adoption info online and to let her know if we were interested the next day. After our last experience, I was amazed at the information this agency made available to us. There were plenty of pictures of the mother and a little more medical information than I felt comfortable with seeing. In the end, she needed more financial help than we were able to provide and we had to let the agency know. The social worker's response was very kind. And she said she would keep our profile on file.
I was so amazed and relieved. This experience has helped heal my faith in the adoption process and also made me know to trust my instinct more.
We also had an email from our agency announcing a waiting family town hall. Apparently they would discuss ways for waiting families to help themselves during the wait to be matched. We had discussed going, but Hunter already had a meeting he could not get out of, so we decided not to go. Today at work, he said one of his co-workers asked if we were attending the meeting. Hunter said he gave his co-worker a funny look. To which the co-worker explained that he and his wife had also signed with the same agency last March and they had decided to go tonight.
We were amazed to find out a couple we know are looking to adopt and using the same agency as us. I told Hunter that it's so nice to know we have another couple that we can compare notes with. I have said before that our story through infertility and now, adoption, is not any more remarkable than any other couple. But it can be a lonely time. Over the last year and a half I have been comforted by so many in the blogger world sharing their experiences of adoption. But it has been especially nice over the last year to have found a few other couples close to home in different stages of the adoption process to share our experiences with.
We had a bit of action on the adoption front in September. We sent out 3 parent profiles in early September. We didn't hear anything until I got an email from one of the agencies a couple of weeks ago. They had a mother who was interested in placing her child for adoption. It was a different one from the one we had responded to originally.
Later that night the social worker called my cell phone. I was a little leery after the last experience we had. But she just let us know that we could access the adoption info online and to let her know if we were interested the next day. After our last experience, I was amazed at the information this agency made available to us. There were plenty of pictures of the mother and a little more medical information than I felt comfortable with seeing. In the end, she needed more financial help than we were able to provide and we had to let the agency know. The social worker's response was very kind. And she said she would keep our profile on file.
I was so amazed and relieved. This experience has helped heal my faith in the adoption process and also made me know to trust my instinct more.
We also had an email from our agency announcing a waiting family town hall. Apparently they would discuss ways for waiting families to help themselves during the wait to be matched. We had discussed going, but Hunter already had a meeting he could not get out of, so we decided not to go. Today at work, he said one of his co-workers asked if we were attending the meeting. Hunter said he gave his co-worker a funny look. To which the co-worker explained that he and his wife had also signed with the same agency last March and they had decided to go tonight.
We were amazed to find out a couple we know are looking to adopt and using the same agency as us. I told Hunter that it's so nice to know we have another couple that we can compare notes with. I have said before that our story through infertility and now, adoption, is not any more remarkable than any other couple. But it can be a lonely time. Over the last year and a half I have been comforted by so many in the blogger world sharing their experiences of adoption. But it has been especially nice over the last year to have found a few other couples close to home in different stages of the adoption process to share our experiences with.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
FLOOD!
Oh my! When I awoke this morning, Hunter informed me that we had 6 inches of rain since midnight last night. 6 INCHES! I could barely get to work this morning. One friend on Facebook joked that there was a small craft advisory in effect for the road she takes to work. Another said she was trying to discourage her kids from going kayaking down their driveway.
Currently, it is raining unbelievably hard. This is supposed to be the remnants of former Tropical Storm Nicole which brushed by Florida yesterday. The rain is a hassle, but it is badly needed. I'm just glad we are not experiencing Tropical Storm force winds. We just got word that they are closing some of the roads out there. Wonder if I'll be able to get home this evening. Hope everybody out there stays safe.
Currently, it is raining unbelievably hard. This is supposed to be the remnants of former Tropical Storm Nicole which brushed by Florida yesterday. The rain is a hassle, but it is badly needed. I'm just glad we are not experiencing Tropical Storm force winds. We just got word that they are closing some of the roads out there. Wonder if I'll be able to get home this evening. Hope everybody out there stays safe.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Hanging on to Summer
I promise some new posts soon. I've just been busy trying to squeeze everything I can out of the last of summertime. Had our first real camping trip two weekends ago in Virginia Beach. Boy, was that an experience. But not so bad that we're not ready to go again this weekend. Our plan is to camp on the Eastern Shore near Cape Charles, Virginia. But, alas, that's gonna depend a lot on Earl and his girlfriend, Fiona.
Looks like we will have to drag 15 dock pilons to higher ground tonight. This is the result of our dock not being complete yet. If they stay where they are, they will just float away when the waters rise over the dock like they do when we have this kind of storm. Then tomorrow we have to take the speed boat out of the water and make provisions for the Boston Whaler and wooden skiff my Dad has decided will live at our house from now on. All that to accomplish before Thursday, and even then we won't know if it will be okay to travel 3 hours to get to the campground on Saturday. By the way, if they have to evacuate the Outer Banks of North Carolina and the Tidewater region of Virginia, we basically would be like salmon swimming upstream trying to get there. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it all.
Update: Mission accomplished for tonight.
Tomorrow night we deal with these.
My uncle who is a meteorological genius told me that a sure sign that a bad storm is coming is if it got real still and calm before. The water was so still tonight as seen in the pictures. And there was not a breath of air out there tonight. Stay tuned...
Looks like we will have to drag 15 dock pilons to higher ground tonight. This is the result of our dock not being complete yet. If they stay where they are, they will just float away when the waters rise over the dock like they do when we have this kind of storm. Then tomorrow we have to take the speed boat out of the water and make provisions for the Boston Whaler and wooden skiff my Dad has decided will live at our house from now on. All that to accomplish before Thursday, and even then we won't know if it will be okay to travel 3 hours to get to the campground on Saturday. By the way, if they have to evacuate the Outer Banks of North Carolina and the Tidewater region of Virginia, we basically would be like salmon swimming upstream trying to get there. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it all.
Update: Mission accomplished for tonight.
Tomorrow night we deal with these.
My uncle who is a meteorological genius told me that a sure sign that a bad storm is coming is if it got real still and calm before. The water was so still tonight as seen in the pictures. And there was not a breath of air out there tonight. Stay tuned...
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Save the Stack update
We have had some much needed rain in the last 2 weeks. And also some nasty thunderstorms. Not unusual for this time of year. However, lightening has struck the stack in Reedville a couple of times. Hunter and I were out in the boat last Sunday and I was able to see the damage for myself and take this picture. There is a benefit concert this weekend going on called Woodstack. Hope lots of people will turn out to support saving this landmark. It really needs it now more than ever!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Start spreading the news
I never thought that spreading the word about our adoption plans would be so difficult. Our adoption attorney told us that we needed to constantly talk to others about adoption in order to keep it in the forefront of people's minds. She said just bring it up every time you meet someone. She even suggested that we send out mass emails every 3 months and a post card mailing every 6 months. I thought to myself at the time, that's a little excessive. But this weekend proved me wrong.
We went to Hunter's high school reunion. We did not attend the same high school. But it was a multi-year reunion and I actually did know a few people there. We just got these snazzy new adoption pass along cards and this event was our chance to start using them. It's a good thing, too. We were both shocked that barely any of the people we knew actually knew anything about our plan to adopt. We happen to live in a small town where it seems like everybody knows everybody else's business. But, apparently, not ours.
One friend asked me how our kids were. I looked at her in shock and said, "We don't have any children." Her turn to be shocked. She said she could have sworn that we did. Embarrassing little moment. But it did allow me to press some cards into her hand and tell her all about adoption. This was pretty much how the evening went. Then there was a friend of ours whom we see on a fairly regular basis. When I brought out the cards to distribute to our group of friends, she said (and I am not making this up) "I thought you all had just given up" WTF!!!
So guess who is spending this week preparing another mass email and working on address labels. In an earlier post I complained that this whole process is like walking through a maze with a blindfold on. Well, here is just another example. You'd think I would be getting the hang of it by now.
We went to Hunter's high school reunion. We did not attend the same high school. But it was a multi-year reunion and I actually did know a few people there. We just got these snazzy new adoption pass along cards and this event was our chance to start using them. It's a good thing, too. We were both shocked that barely any of the people we knew actually knew anything about our plan to adopt. We happen to live in a small town where it seems like everybody knows everybody else's business. But, apparently, not ours.
One friend asked me how our kids were. I looked at her in shock and said, "We don't have any children." Her turn to be shocked. She said she could have sworn that we did. Embarrassing little moment. But it did allow me to press some cards into her hand and tell her all about adoption. This was pretty much how the evening went. Then there was a friend of ours whom we see on a fairly regular basis. When I brought out the cards to distribute to our group of friends, she said (and I am not making this up) "I thought you all had just given up" WTF!!!
So guess who is spending this week preparing another mass email and working on address labels. In an earlier post I complained that this whole process is like walking through a maze with a blindfold on. Well, here is just another example. You'd think I would be getting the hang of it by now.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Breathing Easy Again
Declining the birth mother match in June left me with a lot of mixed emotions, obviously. Afterwards I still felt sadness for the couple involved and anger towards the agency. But then came this overwhelming feeling of, "Oh God, we're never going to find a match ever again!". Sure enough, some leads came in through our lawyer. They sounded like some pretty good adoption placements. But always there would be one thing or another that would disqualify us. One placement sounded so wonderful, I thought of asking Hunter if he would convert to Judaism. No, no - I'm only joking. But it did sound that good.
At least my sense of humor is coming back.
Anyway, last night I woke suddenly at 2am. Not being able to go back to sleep, I started up the old laptop. There wasn't much going on at Facebook that time of night. So I caught up on my blogging buddies recent entries. Then something made me check my email. Something caught my eye...
Could that be a message from the lawyer? Yes, it was indeed. I held my breath as I opened and read it. Birth mother description sounded good. I continued to read, there had to be a catch. I read the part stating what kind of couple the birth mother was interested in. Sounded really good. I read it again. Surely I was missing something, the one thing that would knock us out of the running. But no, we fit every category. I didn't waste any time and didn't even bother to wake Hunter. I fired off an email to the lawyer telling her we were interested.
Big sigh of relief. I know it's a long shot. But reading that email brought back my faith that another match was possible. Fingers crossed. Here we go!
At least my sense of humor is coming back.
Anyway, last night I woke suddenly at 2am. Not being able to go back to sleep, I started up the old laptop. There wasn't much going on at Facebook that time of night. So I caught up on my blogging buddies recent entries. Then something made me check my email. Something caught my eye...
Could that be a message from the lawyer? Yes, it was indeed. I held my breath as I opened and read it. Birth mother description sounded good. I continued to read, there had to be a catch. I read the part stating what kind of couple the birth mother was interested in. Sounded really good. I read it again. Surely I was missing something, the one thing that would knock us out of the running. But no, we fit every category. I didn't waste any time and didn't even bother to wake Hunter. I fired off an email to the lawyer telling her we were interested.
Big sigh of relief. I know it's a long shot. But reading that email brought back my faith that another match was possible. Fingers crossed. Here we go!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Open Adoption Roundtable #18
The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table. The prompts are meant to be starting points--feel free to adapt or expand on them.
Publish your response--linking back here so your readers can browse other participating blogs--and leave a link to your post in the comments. Using a previously published post is perfectly fine; I'd appreciate it if you'd add a link back to the roundtable. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.
We each interacted with at least one professional during the adoption process (agency, lawyer, facilitator, consultant, hospital social worker, etc.). What was one thing that they did that was most supportive of open adoption? What one thing was least supportive?
I have taken quite a break from blogging about our adoption journey. I needed it. We had a very dramatic experience in June in which we were chosen by a birth family. Sadly, we turned it down. I have a lot of regrets about it and I didn't know how to write about our experience for the longest time. And then I saw this topic for Open Adoption Roundtable. I guess this is not specifically about open adoption since we never made it that far in our failed match. But hopefully our experience can help someone out there.
When we started this journey, I was under the impression all adoption professionals were like our agency's social worker. She conducted our home study in such a professional and caring manner. We had to answer a lot of very personal questions. She never judged. When we were stumped for answers, she would explain the significance of the question which would help us give our answers. I know she was a busy person, but she always made us feel like we were the most important people she was talking to that day.
In June, we inquired about an online posting for a birth mother listing. I emailed our info on a Sunday and was contacted almost immediately. We had not heard of the agency, but everything looked on the up and up. We were told they would "present" us to the birth parents that afternoon and we would have a phone interview that evening. We were very nervous during the phone call but answered the questions from the birth parents as best we could. As soon as we hung up, the agency representative called us back. She started pressing us to see how we thought it went, etc. Then the other social worker called to ask us to email her some pics so the couple could see them. What happened to them presenting us to the couple??? We have the blog, etc. Anyway, I was in the middle of sending pics when I got an email that the couple had chosen us. This was within one hour of the phone call. We were a little taken aback. We asked the agency if they could give us an idea how the couple could have chosen us so quickly without even seeing pics of us. (The couple had admitted on the phone that they didn't know a thing about us.) We were given the stock answer that one never knew why birth parents picked an adoptive couple and let's talk in the morning. It was after 10pm at that point.
So began a week long struggle with the agency. They pressed us for a yes or no the very next day. The couple needed financial help immediately. We were not able to make such a life altering decision within 24 hours so we said no to the match to allow the couple to pursue other avenues. The agency reps kept at us insisting we were the ones the birth parents wanted. They would work with us, we were told. Well, "working" with us was just asking for money immediately. We were very sympathetic to the couple's plight. But, not prepared to make a decision within a few hours time, we declined again.
The rest of the week went by in a blur. I won't go into further detail except to say I felt like I was driven through an emotional minefield. The agency's social worker pushed and pushed. She was not unkind, just pushy. And in my opinion resorted to nothing short of emotional blackmail describing the couple's financial predicament. I left work one day in uncontrollable tears. I felt so bad for the couple's situation. But at that point, we really needed more time to make our decision. We asked to have until the following Monday to give our decision. We were only granted this time to think because we offered to pay for a hotel room for the couple. In the end, we consulted our adoption lawyer and our adoption agency rep. We talked to our family and friends and another couple who had adopted twice. Every time we described what we were going through, it just felt wrong. Not because of the birth parents, but because of the agency staff.
In the end, we declined a third time. In my email to explain our decision (I didn't trust myself to remain composed over the phone), I offered that perhaps their methods were not what we were used to. I got the most scathing email back. We were accused of being scared and because of our indecision, this couple had lost precious time in finding an adoptive family for their child. I can't even record how nasty and in my opinion, unprofessional, this email was. I truly believe this agency was legitimate. I truly believe this couple had a real need. I just was just so shocked at how we were treated by the agency upon giving our final decision.
Perhaps the social worker was right. We were scared to make such a quick decision. We even told the agency that this was the first time we had been chosen as prospective adoptive parents and that making such a quick decision was so unsettling. But I don't think we deserved to get dressed down like we were in that final email.
It's taken me some time to wrap my head around it all. I do not feel it was a wasted experience. We learned a lot about ourselves and now know we need to prepare ourselves better for the next possible adoption opportunity. I said before that I did not know how to write about this experience. But in reality, I have hesitated because I am scared the agency is monitoring this blog for my negative reaction. While I disapprove of their methods, I do not hold a personal grudge. I understand their need to protect the couple and their needs. I publish this post, not out of spite, but hoping it will help other couples hoping to adopt.
Publish your response--linking back here so your readers can browse other participating blogs--and leave a link to your post in the comments. Using a previously published post is perfectly fine; I'd appreciate it if you'd add a link back to the roundtable. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.
We each interacted with at least one professional during the adoption process (agency, lawyer, facilitator, consultant, hospital social worker, etc.). What was one thing that they did that was most supportive of open adoption? What one thing was least supportive?
I have taken quite a break from blogging about our adoption journey. I needed it. We had a very dramatic experience in June in which we were chosen by a birth family. Sadly, we turned it down. I have a lot of regrets about it and I didn't know how to write about our experience for the longest time. And then I saw this topic for Open Adoption Roundtable. I guess this is not specifically about open adoption since we never made it that far in our failed match. But hopefully our experience can help someone out there.
When we started this journey, I was under the impression all adoption professionals were like our agency's social worker. She conducted our home study in such a professional and caring manner. We had to answer a lot of very personal questions. She never judged. When we were stumped for answers, she would explain the significance of the question which would help us give our answers. I know she was a busy person, but she always made us feel like we were the most important people she was talking to that day.
In June, we inquired about an online posting for a birth mother listing. I emailed our info on a Sunday and was contacted almost immediately. We had not heard of the agency, but everything looked on the up and up. We were told they would "present" us to the birth parents that afternoon and we would have a phone interview that evening. We were very nervous during the phone call but answered the questions from the birth parents as best we could. As soon as we hung up, the agency representative called us back. She started pressing us to see how we thought it went, etc. Then the other social worker called to ask us to email her some pics so the couple could see them. What happened to them presenting us to the couple??? We have the blog, etc. Anyway, I was in the middle of sending pics when I got an email that the couple had chosen us. This was within one hour of the phone call. We were a little taken aback. We asked the agency if they could give us an idea how the couple could have chosen us so quickly without even seeing pics of us. (The couple had admitted on the phone that they didn't know a thing about us.) We were given the stock answer that one never knew why birth parents picked an adoptive couple and let's talk in the morning. It was after 10pm at that point.
So began a week long struggle with the agency. They pressed us for a yes or no the very next day. The couple needed financial help immediately. We were not able to make such a life altering decision within 24 hours so we said no to the match to allow the couple to pursue other avenues. The agency reps kept at us insisting we were the ones the birth parents wanted. They would work with us, we were told. Well, "working" with us was just asking for money immediately. We were very sympathetic to the couple's plight. But, not prepared to make a decision within a few hours time, we declined again.
The rest of the week went by in a blur. I won't go into further detail except to say I felt like I was driven through an emotional minefield. The agency's social worker pushed and pushed. She was not unkind, just pushy. And in my opinion resorted to nothing short of emotional blackmail describing the couple's financial predicament. I left work one day in uncontrollable tears. I felt so bad for the couple's situation. But at that point, we really needed more time to make our decision. We asked to have until the following Monday to give our decision. We were only granted this time to think because we offered to pay for a hotel room for the couple. In the end, we consulted our adoption lawyer and our adoption agency rep. We talked to our family and friends and another couple who had adopted twice. Every time we described what we were going through, it just felt wrong. Not because of the birth parents, but because of the agency staff.
In the end, we declined a third time. In my email to explain our decision (I didn't trust myself to remain composed over the phone), I offered that perhaps their methods were not what we were used to. I got the most scathing email back. We were accused of being scared and because of our indecision, this couple had lost precious time in finding an adoptive family for their child. I can't even record how nasty and in my opinion, unprofessional, this email was. I truly believe this agency was legitimate. I truly believe this couple had a real need. I just was just so shocked at how we were treated by the agency upon giving our final decision.
Perhaps the social worker was right. We were scared to make such a quick decision. We even told the agency that this was the first time we had been chosen as prospective adoptive parents and that making such a quick decision was so unsettling. But I don't think we deserved to get dressed down like we were in that final email.
It's taken me some time to wrap my head around it all. I do not feel it was a wasted experience. We learned a lot about ourselves and now know we need to prepare ourselves better for the next possible adoption opportunity. I said before that I did not know how to write about this experience. But in reality, I have hesitated because I am scared the agency is monitoring this blog for my negative reaction. While I disapprove of their methods, I do not hold a personal grudge. I understand their need to protect the couple and their needs. I publish this post, not out of spite, but hoping it will help other couples hoping to adopt.
Monday, July 12, 2010
First time tubing trip (and I am showing my age)
We had a fabulous weekend! We went tubing on the James River up in Scottsville, Virginia just outside of Charlottesville. My cousin set the whole thing up. She has a group of friends who go every year. It was ten of us and 4 coolers all floating lazily down the river for about 5 hours. It looked like a pretty busy Saturday to me. We stopped at a beach for lunch about halfway down. It was like I was back in college. Co-eds and liquor everywhere. It was like one giant Frat party (I know from memory of what I speak). Anyway, the weather was good despite some rain in the morning. The company was terrific. We met some really fun people. Didn't get any pics of the tubing since I didn't have a waterproof camera.
But some of us camped out afterwards. It was "primitive" camping. Our new luxurious digs are at the left.
There were only porta-potties, no bath house. Not even a sink to brush your teeth. But we didn't get off the river until 6pm. So after setting up the tents and cooking dinner, it only left a little time to settle in for the evening. Here is my cousin cooking a delightful suupper for us. We had s'mores for desert.
I awoke Sunday morning to the sounds of the co-eds noisely packing up at 7 damn 30 in the morning. And that was after drinking their way down the river and then spending the rest of the evening playing volleyball. Apparently, they had bigger and better things to get to later on Sunday. I, however, was in need of a big old nap!
But some of us camped out afterwards. It was "primitive" camping. Our new luxurious digs are at the left.
There were only porta-potties, no bath house. Not even a sink to brush your teeth. But we didn't get off the river until 6pm. So after setting up the tents and cooking dinner, it only left a little time to settle in for the evening. Here is my cousin cooking a delightful suupper for us. We had s'mores for desert.
I awoke Sunday morning to the sounds of the co-eds noisely packing up at 7 damn 30 in the morning. And that was after drinking their way down the river and then spending the rest of the evening playing volleyball. Apparently, they had bigger and better things to get to later on Sunday. I, however, was in need of a big old nap!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Heat Wave
What makes a 90 degree day seem like bliss? 2 days of enduring temps of 100+. What crazy weather this year. I swore last winter I would not complain about the heat this summer. I was looking forward to a nice and mild Spring and early Summer. But it went from cold to hot with very little in between. What is it? El Nino or something?
At least we had a break this weekend and it was great. Here are a few pics from the big Independence Day weekend.
Picture of the Stack just before the fireworks. The blue boat in the background is a boat my Dad used to work on.
5K runners heading to my Uncle's boat for fishing trip/lunch cruise
Our destination. The 5k race and the cruise start at the same time. Thus the need for a shuttle.
The parade
My silly nephew enjoying cake and ice cream
His picture of me. We egg each other on all the time.
The break in the heat made it possible for us all to have a fantastic weekend. Now we are waiting for another break from the 100 degree weather. Hunter and I have been invited to go Tubing and Camping out near Charlottesville this weekend. We got a new tent and we are looking forward to a new adventure!
At least we had a break this weekend and it was great. Here are a few pics from the big Independence Day weekend.
Picture of the Stack just before the fireworks. The blue boat in the background is a boat my Dad used to work on.
5K runners heading to my Uncle's boat for fishing trip/lunch cruise
Our destination. The 5k race and the cruise start at the same time. Thus the need for a shuttle.
The parade
My silly nephew enjoying cake and ice cream
His picture of me. We egg each other on all the time.
The break in the heat made it possible for us all to have a fantastic weekend. Now we are waiting for another break from the 100 degree weather. Hunter and I have been invited to go Tubing and Camping out near Charlottesville this weekend. We got a new tent and we are looking forward to a new adventure!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Independance Day
It's here. The best weekend of the year! 5K run, deviled eggs, fishing trip, parade, fireworks and best of all, family and friends to spend it with. Oh how I love 4th of July weekend!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The Great Camping Experiment-continued
We had a good night camping in the backyard. They were calling for a very hot day. But by the time we got out to the tent, it was comfortable. We had our little fan going. The air mattress was just right. So off to sleep we went. Around 3am I heard a little scratching noise at the backside of the tent. I said, "What's that?". Hunter mumbled, "I don't know". Silence followed and then I heard it again. "What's that?", I asked again. Hunter mumbled, "I don't know". Then I heard a faint "Meow". It was our cat, Sassy (short for Sassafras). She's is our night patrol. She is out all night and sleeps all day. I think she was highly confused as to why the folks were sleeping in this contraption outside. But she joined us for awhile and then went back on patrol.
We woke up about 8:30am. It was already starting to get hot. So I grabbed a little more sleep indoors. Overall, not a bad experience. I think I can do it for 1 or 2 nights at a time. We left the tent up. But sometime this evening one of the supporting rods snapped. So, it looks like we will be taking the tent back for a replacement.
It occurs to me that I should do a little tribute to our kitty. She gives us so much joy. Hunter had always been a dog person before we got married. So he sort of "adopted" Sassy. It was a little rough in the beginning, but he loves her so much. They have their morning ritual and their favorite pastime is Hop on Pop where they snuggle up together in his La-Z-Boy recliner.
Not sure about our future camping excursions at this point. To be continued...
Saturday, June 19, 2010
The Great Camping Experiment
Last weekend we invested in some camping basics. A tent, an air mattress, a lantern and a fan. Our intention yesterday was to spend the night under the stars since it was a pretty mild day temperature wise. Well first, we decided to do a 3 mile run since the Firecracker 5K is coming up. That went pretty well. Then my task was to cook dinner while Hunter baited his crab pots. By that time it was 8 o'clock. He started putting up the tent as I grilled and got dinner ready. It took about an hour to get the thing up. We decided to break for dinner at 9pm. We still hadn't inflated the air mattress, and there was no way I was sleeping on that hard ground. Needless to say, we both fell asleep indoors after dinner. So we inflated the mattress this morning with the plan to sleep in the tent tonight. To be continued...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Loving Summertime
Summer is progressing quickly as usual. The annual 4th of July extravaganza weekend will be here in less than 2 weeks. Looks like we're going to do the 5K race again this year. We haven't been training as much as last year. But we did 2 miles tonight with positive results.
Oh and we have decided to try camping. We bought a tent and air mattress this weekend. We are going to try it out one of the next few weekends. We have our eye out for a Virginia Beach weekend. Hunter has never done any camping. We used to go once or twice a year when I was growing up and I also did a couple of years at the local Girl Scout Camp. I was telling Hunter stories about camping this weekend. I got laughing because they all seem to end with me saying, "And I was so miserable, I slept in the car"!! What am I thinking??
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Year of Giving-Save the Stack
Paris has the Eiffel Tower. London has Big Ben. New York has the Statue of Liberty. My hometown has "The Stack".
It's hard to describe where I grew up. Well, I never had any trouble until I left and went to college. Being from small town Virginia, people in New Orleans would ask, "Where are you from?". I would always just say Virginia and no one would ever ask anything else.
My brother has the best explanation for where our town is. He says it's where the Potomac River meets the Chesapeake Bay. He tried this on a Navy Admiral one time in Hong Kong. The Admiral surmised from that description that he was from the Eastern Shore. My brother just smiled and nodded. Who was he to correct an Admiral?
The truth of it is, I am from Reedville, Virginia. You can Google it and get an idea what I mean. It is a place I loved as a child, was bitter about when I was a teenager and now think is one of the greatest places on earth.
Reedville when I was growing up, was essentially a fishing village. My family's income, like so many others, came from commercial fishing, crabbing or oystering (or all three). When I was a kid the creeks were full of remnants of the old fishing factories of the early 1900's. There were old docks and abandoned wooden boats. Those were mostly cleaned up in the 1970s. The one thing that remains from that era is "the Stack".
The Stack is 130-foot-tall and is in bad shape. There is a $250,000 campaign to save it. It has a 4-degree lean which needs to be addressed before any restoration can be done. The stack doesn't serve a purpose today, it just stands as a symbol of a time gone by and a time that is going to come to an end one of these days. That is why I am contrbuting to "Save the Stack".
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Peanut Butter and Bananas
Please visit my friend's blog "Peanut Butter and Bananas". She just started her blog a couple of weeks ago. She has lots of great tips on eating healthy along with anecdotes about everyday life. I have known this young lady since she was born. I used to babysit her and her sister. She has a fantastic outlook on life and I'm so glad to have her as a blogging buddy!
Friday, May 28, 2010
To Heck with the Lemons. I Need Limes.
Our power came back on between 11pm and midnight last night. It turns out there was a terrible explosion at one of the substations. They were able to re-route some of the power lines to get every body's electricity back on. Everything was back to normal by this morning.
Except this is a holiday weekend. We live in a place that people are drawn to in the summer months. It is very popular with retirees from Northern Virginia and Richmond. It also attracts people who can afford vacation homes. This is a phenomenon that started in the late 1980's and continued in the early 1990's when I was actually living in Richmond. So we are slowly becoming one of those resort towns that have a population surge during the summer months. Today the traffic in town where I work was awful between 3pm and 5:30pm.
All I wanted when I got home was a Margarita and to sit on our deck and relax. I needed to pick up 2 things on the way home. Margarita mix and limes. We have 2 Supermarkets in town. The first had NO LIMES AND NO MARGARITA MIX. So off I go to the other store. Found limes but no Margarita mix. I had to improvise and buy some Margarita flavored drinks to mix a drink.
Anyhow, it's the beginning of the summer season. Traffic is busier. Restaurants will be crowded. The river will be noisy with motor boats and jet skis. And Margarita mix will be in short supply. Oh well, I will start to stock up in June in preparation for 4th of July celebrations.
This holiday is thanks to all the men and women who gave their lives in combat for our country. Please remember all the military men and women currently risking their lives for our freedom. I really shouldn't be bitching about limes and margarita mix!
Except this is a holiday weekend. We live in a place that people are drawn to in the summer months. It is very popular with retirees from Northern Virginia and Richmond. It also attracts people who can afford vacation homes. This is a phenomenon that started in the late 1980's and continued in the early 1990's when I was actually living in Richmond. So we are slowly becoming one of those resort towns that have a population surge during the summer months. Today the traffic in town where I work was awful between 3pm and 5:30pm.
All I wanted when I got home was a Margarita and to sit on our deck and relax. I needed to pick up 2 things on the way home. Margarita mix and limes. We have 2 Supermarkets in town. The first had NO LIMES AND NO MARGARITA MIX. So off I go to the other store. Found limes but no Margarita mix. I had to improvise and buy some Margarita flavored drinks to mix a drink.
Anyhow, it's the beginning of the summer season. Traffic is busier. Restaurants will be crowded. The river will be noisy with motor boats and jet skis. And Margarita mix will be in short supply. Oh well, I will start to stock up in June in preparation for 4th of July celebrations.
This holiday is thanks to all the men and women who gave their lives in combat for our country. Please remember all the military men and women currently risking their lives for our freedom. I really shouldn't be bitching about limes and margarita mix!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Lemons and Lemonade
We are currently without electricity. It went out around 6:30pm tonight. Tried to call Hunter on his cell phone. He works for the local electric cooperative and I thought he might know what was going on. He did not. Turns out it is a region wide outage. Friends and family all called here wanting to know if we knew any scoops on when it would be back on. We haven't a clue.
Luckily, I had decided early today that I didn't feel like cooking tonight. Sometimes when the weather is warm I like to do a little antipasto platter for us. So I picked up the ingredients on the way home. I was able to blanch some tender asparagus from the garden and mixed them with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar before the power went off. So when Hunter got home, we dined al fresco on the deck. The heat of the day gave way to a nice spring breeze. We sat enjoying our simple meal while watching the sunset. A very Mediterranean style dinner, if you will.
Now I'm sitting here listening to the sounds of generators up and down our neighborhood. We had Hurricane Isabel go through in 2003. Power was out for some people for 2 weeks plus. That was after an ice storm spoiled Christmas in 1998. Again, people were out for weeks. So now, anybody who can afford it has a generator. We actually bought one with a push start after Isabel. When things like this happen, Hunter is usually pressed into service by the electric co-op, so I am by myself. There was no way I could start our other one which you had to pull on like a push mower or an outboard motor.
Hunter just got a call from his boss. Turns out a substation had an explosion and there are around 12,000 people without power. Sounds bad, but they think they might have it under control by 10 or 11pm. Of course there's more to it than that. But when he starts talking about substations and such, it all sounds like the teacher from the Charlie Brown specials to me. "Bwahh wah wahh wahh. Bwah wahh wonh wahh wahh." I think some wine is in order for the rest of the evening.
Luckily, I had decided early today that I didn't feel like cooking tonight. Sometimes when the weather is warm I like to do a little antipasto platter for us. So I picked up the ingredients on the way home. I was able to blanch some tender asparagus from the garden and mixed them with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar before the power went off. So when Hunter got home, we dined al fresco on the deck. The heat of the day gave way to a nice spring breeze. We sat enjoying our simple meal while watching the sunset. A very Mediterranean style dinner, if you will.
Now I'm sitting here listening to the sounds of generators up and down our neighborhood. We had Hurricane Isabel go through in 2003. Power was out for some people for 2 weeks plus. That was after an ice storm spoiled Christmas in 1998. Again, people were out for weeks. So now, anybody who can afford it has a generator. We actually bought one with a push start after Isabel. When things like this happen, Hunter is usually pressed into service by the electric co-op, so I am by myself. There was no way I could start our other one which you had to pull on like a push mower or an outboard motor.
Hunter just got a call from his boss. Turns out a substation had an explosion and there are around 12,000 people without power. Sounds bad, but they think they might have it under control by 10 or 11pm. Of course there's more to it than that. But when he starts talking about substations and such, it all sounds like the teacher from the Charlie Brown specials to me. "Bwahh wah wahh wahh. Bwah wahh wonh wahh wahh." I think some wine is in order for the rest of the evening.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Family Time
We are currently on vacation with my parents and my brother's family in Orlando. My nephew turned 6 today. We celebrated by spending the day at Disney's Magic Kingdom. This is my first visit since 1978. Epcot was just in the planning stages back then. Boy, it's a lot different than I remember. And very crowded today. In the morning we managed Pirates of the Caribbean, the Jungle cruise and the Haunted Mansion. Those were my favorites from back then. We took a break and then went back tonight. It worked out that by the time we made it over to the Dumbo ride, the fireworks were in full swing. So my nephew got to end his 6th birthday celebration riding Dumbo with the sounds and sights of the fireworks going off all around us. A truly magical day!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
One Year
I just realized that today marks the one year anniversary of the acceptance of our home study and the day we became "a waiting family". Last year I wondered what it would be like - the waiting. Even though I had no idea what to expect from this waiting period, I think my expectations were reasonable. I certainly didn't think we'd have a child by the end of last summer or not even before the end of the year. But I did not expect after one full year that we would still just be waiting. I thought something, anything would have happened by now. But, nothing. Nothing at all.
I'm not going to get all down on myself. Looking back I realize how little I understood the adoption process a year ago. For about 2 years before we took the plunge, I read everything about adoption. I asked people we knew who had adopted. I thought I was pretty adoption savvy. Now I realize I didn't know squat.
Our social worker turned me on to the blogger world. She suggested it as a way to network for our adoption. I don't know if this little bit of blogging is really doing us any good. But I am thankful to have found all the adoption bloggers I currently read. And I find new ones everyday. They are people from all sides of adoption and they are the ones who have really taught me what I now know about adoption today. The kind of things you can't learn from a book. They have shared real life experiences, the good and the bad and the ones they are still trying to figure out for themselves. Situations that I never would have dreamed about. Most of all, they opened our eyes to open adoption. Last month we sat down with our social worker in order to change our home study to include open adoption situations. So I thank you, adoption bloggers, for taking the time to document your journeys and for giving me encouragement.
I have also recently been branching out and visiting other blogs. I think it started with a few blogs which featured gardening and from there to blogs about travelling - two of my favorite pastimes. I've also started to read another bunch that fascinate me so much. The expats. It's amazing that they are so brave to pick up and live in a foreign country. It is something I dreamed of when I was younger, but never had the nerve to do. All of these blogs provide such interesting reading. Looking at gardens and listening to tales of travel is a great way to keep my mind occupied during this waiting period. So I thank those bloggers, too.
And so now, with a year behind us, I will take all that I have learned and look forward. As Scarlett says, "After all, tomorrow is another day!"
I'm not going to get all down on myself. Looking back I realize how little I understood the adoption process a year ago. For about 2 years before we took the plunge, I read everything about adoption. I asked people we knew who had adopted. I thought I was pretty adoption savvy. Now I realize I didn't know squat.
Our social worker turned me on to the blogger world. She suggested it as a way to network for our adoption. I don't know if this little bit of blogging is really doing us any good. But I am thankful to have found all the adoption bloggers I currently read. And I find new ones everyday. They are people from all sides of adoption and they are the ones who have really taught me what I now know about adoption today. The kind of things you can't learn from a book. They have shared real life experiences, the good and the bad and the ones they are still trying to figure out for themselves. Situations that I never would have dreamed about. Most of all, they opened our eyes to open adoption. Last month we sat down with our social worker in order to change our home study to include open adoption situations. So I thank you, adoption bloggers, for taking the time to document your journeys and for giving me encouragement.
I have also recently been branching out and visiting other blogs. I think it started with a few blogs which featured gardening and from there to blogs about travelling - two of my favorite pastimes. I've also started to read another bunch that fascinate me so much. The expats. It's amazing that they are so brave to pick up and live in a foreign country. It is something I dreamed of when I was younger, but never had the nerve to do. All of these blogs provide such interesting reading. Looking at gardens and listening to tales of travel is a great way to keep my mind occupied during this waiting period. So I thank those bloggers, too.
And so now, with a year behind us, I will take all that I have learned and look forward. As Scarlett says, "After all, tomorrow is another day!"
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day
I've been having a little pity party today. Got up this morning and checked out Facebook. Everyone seemed to be wishing Happy Mother's Day. Post after post, "Happy Mother's Day". I finally had to just get off the computer. It's hard to go another year still be waiting.
Then I decided, no more belly aching. I'm gonna celebrate what I do have. And that is 2 great mothers. We took both sets of parents to brunch today and had a great time. So here is a tribute to my 2 mothers.
My mother is amazing. She was the oldest and the only sister of 5 siblings. She married at the age of 19 and had me and my brother before she was 21. She was a stay at home mom until my brother and I were teenagers. Then she went back to school and became a registered nurse. She has worked at the local hospital for over 25 years. She is one of the funniest people I know. We have had our trials over the years, but I swear, if I could go back and hand pick my mother knowing what I know now, I would pick her every time.
And then there is my mother-in-law. She is such a kind person. Hunter gets his sunny disposition from her. They have the same laugh. She never stops moving. She has a wonderful, encouraging personality. She is semi-retired from her teacher's assistant job. She is the glue of our family life. She fought breast cancer and won. She has taught me to can vegetables and she turns our apples and pears into applesauce and jam. I am so fortunate to have such a lovely mother-in-law.
So another year passes. I hope that I will one day live up to these two wonderful mothers. Happy Mother's Day!
Then I decided, no more belly aching. I'm gonna celebrate what I do have. And that is 2 great mothers. We took both sets of parents to brunch today and had a great time. So here is a tribute to my 2 mothers.
My mother is amazing. She was the oldest and the only sister of 5 siblings. She married at the age of 19 and had me and my brother before she was 21. She was a stay at home mom until my brother and I were teenagers. Then she went back to school and became a registered nurse. She has worked at the local hospital for over 25 years. She is one of the funniest people I know. We have had our trials over the years, but I swear, if I could go back and hand pick my mother knowing what I know now, I would pick her every time.
And then there is my mother-in-law. She is such a kind person. Hunter gets his sunny disposition from her. They have the same laugh. She never stops moving. She has a wonderful, encouraging personality. She is semi-retired from her teacher's assistant job. She is the glue of our family life. She fought breast cancer and won. She has taught me to can vegetables and she turns our apples and pears into applesauce and jam. I am so fortunate to have such a lovely mother-in-law.
So another year passes. I hope that I will one day live up to these two wonderful mothers. Happy Mother's Day!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Gulf Coast Oil Spill
My Dad made a living fishing on commercial menhaden boats in the Gulf of Mexico years ago when I was in high school and college. It's not uncommon for men in this part of Virginia to go south and fish at the plants based in Louisiana. I have many friends and family whose livelihoods depend on a good fishing season down in the Gulf. My thoughts and prayers go out to them. An old friend of mine who is a captain of a Menhaden boat (also known as Pogey boats) was interviewed for this clip.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sandra Bullock adopts. What a Blind Side
Back in March, before the whole Jesse James affair circus, Sandra Bullock had this to say upon winning the Oscar for her role in "The Blind Side".
I would like to thank what this film is about for me which are the moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from. Those moms and parents never get thanked. I, in particular, failed to thank one. So… if I can take this moment to thank Helga B. for not letting me ride in cars with boys until I was 18 because she was right. I would’ve done what she said I was gonna do. For making me practice every day when I got home. Piano, ballet, whatever it is I wanted to be. She said to be an artist, you had to practice every day, and for reminding her daughters that there’s no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation that makes us better than anyone else. We are all deserving of love.
I was really moved by those words. And now they have even more weight in their meaning for her personally. Although the world didn't know it yet, she had become a mother herself. It was announced in a cover story for People magazine that in January, she and her husband had brought home a baby boy from New Orleans after beginning adoption proceedings four years ago.
Really? Four years ago? I haven't seen the full article, but I hope there is some elaboration on that. Most times we see celebrities just turn up with babies. They have the cash to pay a high-powered adoption attorney to match them with the child of their dreams. The rest of us can't afford that kind of adoption. So we wait. And wait...
I would seriously like for someone like Sandra Bullock to share her adoption experience with the rest of the world. Of course, right now she would probably like as much privacy as possible during what I'm sure is a painful time for all involved (including her husband's children). There is going to be an awful lot to sort out there and the well being of all the children should be priority number one.
But maybe, one day she'll sit down and tell the world just what took four years. Those of us who have adopted or are waiting to adopt know just what takes so long. Wouldn't it be great to hear from someone like Sandra what it is like to wait so long to become a parent? Nia Vardalos spoke recently about the difficult maze of domestic adoption she and her husband experienced. What an awesome team she and Sandra would make as advocates for adoption.
I would like to thank what this film is about for me which are the moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from. Those moms and parents never get thanked. I, in particular, failed to thank one. So… if I can take this moment to thank Helga B. for not letting me ride in cars with boys until I was 18 because she was right. I would’ve done what she said I was gonna do. For making me practice every day when I got home. Piano, ballet, whatever it is I wanted to be. She said to be an artist, you had to practice every day, and for reminding her daughters that there’s no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation that makes us better than anyone else. We are all deserving of love.
I was really moved by those words. And now they have even more weight in their meaning for her personally. Although the world didn't know it yet, she had become a mother herself. It was announced in a cover story for People magazine that in January, she and her husband had brought home a baby boy from New Orleans after beginning adoption proceedings four years ago.
Really? Four years ago? I haven't seen the full article, but I hope there is some elaboration on that. Most times we see celebrities just turn up with babies. They have the cash to pay a high-powered adoption attorney to match them with the child of their dreams. The rest of us can't afford that kind of adoption. So we wait. And wait...
I would seriously like for someone like Sandra Bullock to share her adoption experience with the rest of the world. Of course, right now she would probably like as much privacy as possible during what I'm sure is a painful time for all involved (including her husband's children). There is going to be an awful lot to sort out there and the well being of all the children should be priority number one.
But maybe, one day she'll sit down and tell the world just what took four years. Those of us who have adopted or are waiting to adopt know just what takes so long. Wouldn't it be great to hear from someone like Sandra what it is like to wait so long to become a parent? Nia Vardalos spoke recently about the difficult maze of domestic adoption she and her husband experienced. What an awesome team she and Sandra would make as advocates for adoption.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The Year of Giving-continued
Does our contribution to the federal government this month count? Just kidding.
No, this month I am contributing to a cause very close to home. This week local PBS stations will debut a documentary called "The Last Boat Out". The production highlights the ongoing struggle of watermen on the Chesapeake Bay. My father was interviewed for this piece and is featured in the opening clip which can be viewed by clicking on the link above. He is the gentleman in red suspenders who says, "Water quality is going to be everybody's job".
There is a review of the film here. If I can boast a little, here is a quote about my Dad - "One of the film’s most colorful characters is Dudley Biddlecomb, an elderly, suspendered former watermen who now spends his days teaching people how to farm oysters. (I personally could have watched an entire film about Dudley.)"
Watermen in this part of the world have been targeted by various groups such as Greenpeace as being the reason the Bay is full of pollution. This documentary sheds light on another possible cause for pollution of the Bay. The over development of waterfront property. The creator of the documentary grew up much like I did. Her family made a living off of fishing, crabbing and oystering on the Bay. I haven't seen the finished product yet as it will air on Maryland Public Television and in Hampton Roads this week. My Dad attended a viewing of the documentary in Yorktown a few weeks ago. And it turns out that actor Sam Waterston of "Law and Order" fame, asked to narrate the documentary after he found out about it. As I said, it airs this week on Maryland Public Television, but may be seen throughout the country later. So check it out if you can. Contributions to the production can be made here.
No, this month I am contributing to a cause very close to home. This week local PBS stations will debut a documentary called "The Last Boat Out". The production highlights the ongoing struggle of watermen on the Chesapeake Bay. My father was interviewed for this piece and is featured in the opening clip which can be viewed by clicking on the link above. He is the gentleman in red suspenders who says, "Water quality is going to be everybody's job".
There is a review of the film here. If I can boast a little, here is a quote about my Dad - "One of the film’s most colorful characters is Dudley Biddlecomb, an elderly, suspendered former watermen who now spends his days teaching people how to farm oysters. (I personally could have watched an entire film about Dudley.)"
Watermen in this part of the world have been targeted by various groups such as Greenpeace as being the reason the Bay is full of pollution. This documentary sheds light on another possible cause for pollution of the Bay. The over development of waterfront property. The creator of the documentary grew up much like I did. Her family made a living off of fishing, crabbing and oystering on the Bay. I haven't seen the finished product yet as it will air on Maryland Public Television and in Hampton Roads this week. My Dad attended a viewing of the documentary in Yorktown a few weeks ago. And it turns out that actor Sam Waterston of "Law and Order" fame, asked to narrate the documentary after he found out about it. As I said, it airs this week on Maryland Public Television, but may be seen throughout the country later. So check it out if you can. Contributions to the production can be made here.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Year of Giving-continued
This month I decided to give locally. One of my cousins posted a link on her Facebook page about contributing to the cause of a young girl in our community who has Dravet Syndrome. I had read about Haley and her family in the local paper a few times. She has been through a lot in her short life as is chronicled at Haley is my Hero.
Haley's mom used to teach the most excellent kick boxing cardio classes at our local gym. She had to give that up when she became pregnant with Haley's twin brothers. I did not realize what the family was going through until her mother contributed a series of articles about Haley's condition in the local paper.
Dravet Syndrome is a rare disorder which causes epileptic type seizures in young children. In Haley's case, it began when she was 5 months old. However she was not properly diagnosed with the disorder until she was 7 years old. The website has a wealth of information on her story. Her family, through the International Dravet syndrome and Epilepsy Action League (IDEA League) are doing everything they can to educate the public about this disorder as the drugs used to treat this rare condition are not readily available in the United States.
Please take a moment to visit the website and read Haley's story. Despite her condition, this little girl remains happy and loving and displays a positive attitude towards life. I think her whole family are amazing and I wish I could do more to support them in what has got to be an overwhelming and challenging time in their lives.
Haley's mom used to teach the most excellent kick boxing cardio classes at our local gym. She had to give that up when she became pregnant with Haley's twin brothers. I did not realize what the family was going through until her mother contributed a series of articles about Haley's condition in the local paper.
Dravet Syndrome is a rare disorder which causes epileptic type seizures in young children. In Haley's case, it began when she was 5 months old. However she was not properly diagnosed with the disorder until she was 7 years old. The website has a wealth of information on her story. Her family, through the International Dravet syndrome and Epilepsy Action League (IDEA League) are doing everything they can to educate the public about this disorder as the drugs used to treat this rare condition are not readily available in the United States.
Please take a moment to visit the website and read Haley's story. Despite her condition, this little girl remains happy and loving and displays a positive attitude towards life. I think her whole family are amazing and I wish I could do more to support them in what has got to be an overwhelming and challenging time in their lives.
Friday, March 26, 2010
PMA Recharged!
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. "
~ W. W. Ziege
I didn't realize it until yesterday, but I have really been in a funk for about the last 6 weeks. I guess it started with this, Pity Party. That phone conversation basically made me feel like we were on the road to nowhere with regards to our adoption. Add to that the lousy, no, brutal winter weather we've been experiencing on the east coast, well you can kind of see what it would do to a person.
It all came to a head this past weekend. On Sunday I had a brainstorm. Why not try calling an adoption attorney? We were set to have an early meeting with our social worker on Thursday which meant we could fit in another meeting later that day. So I emailed the attorney that had been most recommended to us. I did not expect an answer until Monday, but she actually emailed me back that afternoon saying she could meet us. I suggested a meeting time and waited to hear back. Just before bed I got her reply. The time was fine for her and she followed up with what the consultation would cover. And, oh, her fee was $325!
Well, I guess that was the proverbial last straw. I lost it and weeks of frustration and disappointment came spilling out in uncontrollable tears. I basically cried myself to sleep. And things didn't get much better the next morning when my co-worker had an adoption tip for me. God bless her. She was only trying to help, but was unaware of my breakdown the night before. More tears, I'm afraid.
Nevertheless, Hunter said to go ahead with the appointment. I spent the next few days worrying excessively. Would this be worth the money? Or would she just tell me what I already knew? I even emailed my fellow blogger, Julie at A Family is Born, to see who they were using. It was the same lawyer and she assured me that she definitely recommended her. That helped me relax a bit.
Thursday came. It was a gorgeous day. Sunny and warm with all the Springtime flowers in bloom. We had a 9am meeting with our social worker. I was trying to keep an open mind but our last conversation and how it made me feel is what I opened with. I could hardly keep my voice from cracking while I was trying to be diplomatic about my feelings. To her credit, I felt she handled everything very well. We spent about an hour hashing things out. We did discover that we probably needed to make an addendum to our home study pertaining to our increasingly positive feelings for an open adoption. Overall, it was a good meeting. I left with more positive feelings than negative.
Then it was on to the meeting with the attorney. Now, Hunter and I have NEVER had to consult a lawyer about anything in our lives. So this was pretty intimidating. Luckily, the attorney was anything but intimidating.
After the introductions and niceties, she hit the floor running with her presentation. We found her very likable and a wealth of information. It is obvious she has spent years building contacts within the adoption world. We discussed networking strategies. Some I had thought of. Some I had not. She showed us examples of parent profiles, some good and some not so good. She did it all with a positive attitude with some humor thrown in. At the same time she was honest with us emphasizing that we had a lot of work ahead of us. She said some of her clients treat their adoption search like a part-time job. We should have been overwhelmed by that statement, but we were not. Her main point was that anyone hoping to adopt should be openly pursuing every possible avenue to make a match. We agreed to take her on as our attorney and we left the meeting full of optimism.
Do I think she is a miracle worker? No. Do I think she is a woman with a plan? Definitely. Industrious is the word Hunter used to describe her. So with two great meetings under our belt on a beautiful spring day, here we go! No looking back at what has passed. Just PMA!!
~ W. W. Ziege
I didn't realize it until yesterday, but I have really been in a funk for about the last 6 weeks. I guess it started with this, Pity Party. That phone conversation basically made me feel like we were on the road to nowhere with regards to our adoption. Add to that the lousy, no, brutal winter weather we've been experiencing on the east coast, well you can kind of see what it would do to a person.
It all came to a head this past weekend. On Sunday I had a brainstorm. Why not try calling an adoption attorney? We were set to have an early meeting with our social worker on Thursday which meant we could fit in another meeting later that day. So I emailed the attorney that had been most recommended to us. I did not expect an answer until Monday, but she actually emailed me back that afternoon saying she could meet us. I suggested a meeting time and waited to hear back. Just before bed I got her reply. The time was fine for her and she followed up with what the consultation would cover. And, oh, her fee was $325!
Well, I guess that was the proverbial last straw. I lost it and weeks of frustration and disappointment came spilling out in uncontrollable tears. I basically cried myself to sleep. And things didn't get much better the next morning when my co-worker had an adoption tip for me. God bless her. She was only trying to help, but was unaware of my breakdown the night before. More tears, I'm afraid.
Nevertheless, Hunter said to go ahead with the appointment. I spent the next few days worrying excessively. Would this be worth the money? Or would she just tell me what I already knew? I even emailed my fellow blogger, Julie at A Family is Born, to see who they were using. It was the same lawyer and she assured me that she definitely recommended her. That helped me relax a bit.
Thursday came. It was a gorgeous day. Sunny and warm with all the Springtime flowers in bloom. We had a 9am meeting with our social worker. I was trying to keep an open mind but our last conversation and how it made me feel is what I opened with. I could hardly keep my voice from cracking while I was trying to be diplomatic about my feelings. To her credit, I felt she handled everything very well. We spent about an hour hashing things out. We did discover that we probably needed to make an addendum to our home study pertaining to our increasingly positive feelings for an open adoption. Overall, it was a good meeting. I left with more positive feelings than negative.
Then it was on to the meeting with the attorney. Now, Hunter and I have NEVER had to consult a lawyer about anything in our lives. So this was pretty intimidating. Luckily, the attorney was anything but intimidating.
After the introductions and niceties, she hit the floor running with her presentation. We found her very likable and a wealth of information. It is obvious she has spent years building contacts within the adoption world. We discussed networking strategies. Some I had thought of. Some I had not. She showed us examples of parent profiles, some good and some not so good. She did it all with a positive attitude with some humor thrown in. At the same time she was honest with us emphasizing that we had a lot of work ahead of us. She said some of her clients treat their adoption search like a part-time job. We should have been overwhelmed by that statement, but we were not. Her main point was that anyone hoping to adopt should be openly pursuing every possible avenue to make a match. We agreed to take her on as our attorney and we left the meeting full of optimism.
Do I think she is a miracle worker? No. Do I think she is a woman with a plan? Definitely. Industrious is the word Hunter used to describe her. So with two great meetings under our belt on a beautiful spring day, here we go! No looking back at what has passed. Just PMA!!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Goodbye Winter.
It has been one of the coldest, snowiest winters we have seen in Virginia in over 20 years. I am glad to say goodbye tomorrow. We usually have cold snaps lasting 3-4 days at a time followed by temps in the 50s. And we might have a slight snow shower of 3-4 inches once or twice during the winter. This winter, the snow started before Christmas. We had 14 inches on January 30th as seen below.
We had three other major "snow events" throughout February dumping another 10 inches or so. Our creek stayed frozen for 2 months straight. We had to halt construction on our dock and boathouse.
And then two weeks ago the temps finally got above 45 degrees during the day. Hello Spring!
We had three other major "snow events" throughout February dumping another 10 inches or so. Our creek stayed frozen for 2 months straight. We had to halt construction on our dock and boathouse.
And then two weeks ago the temps finally got above 45 degrees during the day. Hello Spring!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Adoption Politics
When I was growing up in the 1970s, my Mom and her friends decided to join the local chapter of the Republican Women's Club. My Mom was 19 when she married and she, like her friends, was a stay at home mom. I don't think they really had any political leanings. I think they were looking to get a little "me" time while the kids were in school and this was an attractive outlet. My Dad was supportive of her involvement, but also teased my Mom saying she barely knew a Republican from Democrat.
My Mom and her friends stuck with the club for a number of years. It turned out to be more than just Tea Partys and fund raising events. My Mom was a delegate at several conventions to nominate candidates for state elections. She would go to the conventions and come home and tell me and my brother about her experiences. She actually met Elizabeth Taylor once when she was married to and campaigning for John Warner. She also worked as a campaign volunteer for a state senator and helped manage the campaign for a local board of supervisors candidate.
Through her experiences, my brother and I learned a lot about politics and how our government works. I believe the right to vote is so important to our democracy. I have voted in every election since I was 18 years old. As I get older, I hate political parties and I make a point of voting for the candidate, not his or her party.
Why am I going on about this on an adoption blog? In the last month I have been encouraged to contact my representatives on 2 issues. One was for tax exemptions for fraternity and sorority housing improvements. I wrote to both Virgina Senators and heard back via a form letter from both within a weeks time. One said he is sponsoring the bill. The other said he would consider sponsoring the bill. Yay, democracy in action!
The other issue was about the Adoption Tax Credit legislation which is set to expire December 2010. Currently there is a tax credit for adoptive families. They may claim up to $12,000 dollars on their tax return for adoption expenses. A typical adoption costs between $15,000 to $50,000. For most families, including us, it really makes a difference. I recently contacted my Virginia representatives via email about this issue. Unlike the bill for collegiate housing, I have heard nothing.
This is the first time in my adult life that I have taken the time to contact my representatives. When I wrote to them about the adoption tax credit, I really didn't know how it all worked. I didn't expect a response. But now, after hearing back from both Senators in less than a week about the collegiate housing tax exemption it makes me think. And it makes me mad. The biggest hurdle for adoptive families is the expense. There are so many children who need homes. Why would the government take away this tax exemption and make it even harder for adoptive families?
If you care about this issue, I invite you to visit this site:
http://adoptiontaxcredit.wetpaint.com/
It is the site that I used to contact my state representatives about this issue. It makes it very easy to find your representatives and send them a message about continuing the adoption tax credit. If adoption is important to you, please take a moment to voice your opinion. Even though I am disappointed by the lack of response, I still think it is important to let your voice be heard.
UPDATE (3/19/10) Well, lo and behold, when I got home there was a message on my answering machine from my Congressman in the US House of Representatives. One of his assistants left a message thanking me for contacting the Congressman about the adoption tax credit bill. She explained that he was already a sponsor of the bill and that he also happened to be an adoptee. OK. Faith in our democracy is now somewhat restored. But then there's that scary Health Bill they seem to want to push through awfully fast. Ah well, I'm not even going to go there ;)
My Mom and her friends stuck with the club for a number of years. It turned out to be more than just Tea Partys and fund raising events. My Mom was a delegate at several conventions to nominate candidates for state elections. She would go to the conventions and come home and tell me and my brother about her experiences. She actually met Elizabeth Taylor once when she was married to and campaigning for John Warner. She also worked as a campaign volunteer for a state senator and helped manage the campaign for a local board of supervisors candidate.
Through her experiences, my brother and I learned a lot about politics and how our government works. I believe the right to vote is so important to our democracy. I have voted in every election since I was 18 years old. As I get older, I hate political parties and I make a point of voting for the candidate, not his or her party.
Why am I going on about this on an adoption blog? In the last month I have been encouraged to contact my representatives on 2 issues. One was for tax exemptions for fraternity and sorority housing improvements. I wrote to both Virgina Senators and heard back via a form letter from both within a weeks time. One said he is sponsoring the bill. The other said he would consider sponsoring the bill. Yay, democracy in action!
The other issue was about the Adoption Tax Credit legislation which is set to expire December 2010. Currently there is a tax credit for adoptive families. They may claim up to $12,000 dollars on their tax return for adoption expenses. A typical adoption costs between $15,000 to $50,000. For most families, including us, it really makes a difference. I recently contacted my Virginia representatives via email about this issue. Unlike the bill for collegiate housing, I have heard nothing.
This is the first time in my adult life that I have taken the time to contact my representatives. When I wrote to them about the adoption tax credit, I really didn't know how it all worked. I didn't expect a response. But now, after hearing back from both Senators in less than a week about the collegiate housing tax exemption it makes me think. And it makes me mad. The biggest hurdle for adoptive families is the expense. There are so many children who need homes. Why would the government take away this tax exemption and make it even harder for adoptive families?
If you care about this issue, I invite you to visit this site:
http://adoptiontaxcredit.wetpaint.com/
It is the site that I used to contact my state representatives about this issue. It makes it very easy to find your representatives and send them a message about continuing the adoption tax credit. If adoption is important to you, please take a moment to voice your opinion. Even though I am disappointed by the lack of response, I still think it is important to let your voice be heard.
UPDATE (3/19/10) Well, lo and behold, when I got home there was a message on my answering machine from my Congressman in the US House of Representatives. One of his assistants left a message thanking me for contacting the Congressman about the adoption tax credit bill. She explained that he was already a sponsor of the bill and that he also happened to be an adoptee. OK. Faith in our democracy is now somewhat restored. But then there's that scary Health Bill they seem to want to push through awfully fast. Ah well, I'm not even going to go there ;)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Year of Learning (about open adoption)
It was this time last year we started our home study process. I remember setting up the first appointment with our social worker. She said there would be a lot of paperwork to go through for the first meeting. So I didn't stress about the meeting too much.
However once we got there, the "interview" began. She hit us with questions about our infertility struggle on the very first meeting. I wasn't expecting this. It was probably a good thing. I didn't have time to over think it. There were tears. It had been about 2 years since had finished our last Invitro fertilization round(IVF). But, we got through the initial interview and set up our next appointment in which we would be interviewed separately.
That was the one that gave me a headache. The questions delved deeply into our marriage, into our individual upbringings and our relationships with our families. Our social worker was always kind. But it was a very long session and I had to have an aspirin afterwards. We got in the car and I told Hunter how the session had given me a headache. He confessed to the same.
We went on to have the home visit. I swear, by that time I was happy to just clean the house. I thought the meeting would be free of questions. Wrong! But they were mostly about how we would react to certain scenarios concerning an open adoption. I, like most people, was wary of the contact with the birth mother. Then all these situations were presented to us like contact with grandparents or contact with siblings. These were situations I never even contemplated and the thought of it all definitely overwhelmed me. We answered very conservatively about such contacts. After our home study was approved our social worker suggested I start blogging and sent me two examples of adoption blogs.
So I started reading and reading and reading. I was glad to be exposed to people writing about their experiences with adoption. I try to regularly read blogs by people on all sides of the adoption equation. Through reading these experiences, I have learned so much and am now firmly a believer of open adoptions.
What a difference a year makes!
However once we got there, the "interview" began. She hit us with questions about our infertility struggle on the very first meeting. I wasn't expecting this. It was probably a good thing. I didn't have time to over think it. There were tears. It had been about 2 years since had finished our last Invitro fertilization round(IVF). But, we got through the initial interview and set up our next appointment in which we would be interviewed separately.
That was the one that gave me a headache. The questions delved deeply into our marriage, into our individual upbringings and our relationships with our families. Our social worker was always kind. But it was a very long session and I had to have an aspirin afterwards. We got in the car and I told Hunter how the session had given me a headache. He confessed to the same.
We went on to have the home visit. I swear, by that time I was happy to just clean the house. I thought the meeting would be free of questions. Wrong! But they were mostly about how we would react to certain scenarios concerning an open adoption. I, like most people, was wary of the contact with the birth mother. Then all these situations were presented to us like contact with grandparents or contact with siblings. These were situations I never even contemplated and the thought of it all definitely overwhelmed me. We answered very conservatively about such contacts. After our home study was approved our social worker suggested I start blogging and sent me two examples of adoption blogs.
So I started reading and reading and reading. I was glad to be exposed to people writing about their experiences with adoption. I try to regularly read blogs by people on all sides of the adoption equation. Through reading these experiences, I have learned so much and am now firmly a believer of open adoptions.
What a difference a year makes!
Friday, February 26, 2010
99 Things I Ought To Have Done
Saw this on
http://weintribe.blogspot.com
Thought it would be fun.
Copy the list, bold the ones you've done (with explanations if needed), share with friends.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (Went to Disney World in 1978, going back for the first time since then this spring)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (Looking forward to doing so)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train (The Crescent from Charlottesville to New Orleans)
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (ie. Mental Health Day)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (only a 5K so far. Working towards a 1/2 marathon.)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run( does Wii count?)
32. Been on a cruise (5 total)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors( Isle of Wight with my Dad, Aunts, Uncle and cousins)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (My wedding portrait)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (Samoas are my favs)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (my left wrist, a metacarpal on my right hand and tore my knee up in a skiing accident)
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (my first car-Nissan Sentra XE)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (does a soft crab count?)
88. had chickenpox (twice)
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (do politicians count? I met John Warner just after he and Elizabeth Taylor divorced)
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby (I wish)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
http://weintribe.blogspot.com
Thought it would be fun.
Copy the list, bold the ones you've done (with explanations if needed), share with friends.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (Went to Disney World in 1978, going back for the first time since then this spring)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (Looking forward to doing so)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train (The Crescent from Charlottesville to New Orleans)
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (ie. Mental Health Day)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (only a 5K so far. Working towards a 1/2 marathon.)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run( does Wii count?)
32. Been on a cruise (5 total)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors( Isle of Wight with my Dad, Aunts, Uncle and cousins)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (My wedding portrait)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (Samoas are my favs)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (my left wrist, a metacarpal on my right hand and tore my knee up in a skiing accident)
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (my first car-Nissan Sentra XE)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (does a soft crab count?)
88. had chickenpox (twice)
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (do politicians count? I met John Warner just after he and Elizabeth Taylor divorced)
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby (I wish)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The Year of Giving-continued
In honor of the New Orleans Saints winning the Super Bowl, Mardi Gras and the great city of New Orleans, I have decided to donate to the Brees Dream Foundation this month. I received an email from the president of my alma mater, Loyola University New Orleans, announcing that the Saints quarterback, Drew Brees, will be the commencement speaker for the university this May. Here is a little of the announcement.
"Brees dedicated the team’s recent Super Bowl win to the City of New Orleans, his adopted home since 2006, coincidentally, the same year Loyola’s graduating class enrolled in the university. The parallels between the class and Brees don’t end there. Both our graduates and Brees invested themselves in New Orleans when the city was at its lowest point. And both had faith that it would come back stronger than before.
Like our graduating students, Brees made a decision to come to New Orleans four years ago. Through his leadership of the Saints and his work in rebuilding the city, he has been a leader in the renewal of New Orleans just as our students have been leaders in this renewal through their work and volunteer service exemplifying Loyola’s commitment to service, learning, and the City of New Orleans."
After visiting the city back in November for the first time since Katrina, I saw how far the people of New Orleans have come. I also witnessed how much more needs to be done. I wish I was in a position to take a week off from work and go down there to volunteer in the rebuilding that is still going on. But a donation to this organization will have to suffice.
I was able to experience the Mardi Gras season (no, it's not just one day) vicariously through web cams, the media interest in NOLA and my friends pics on Facebook. New Orleans is back, baby! Laissez les bons temps roulez.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Pity Party
I am in serious need of a giant pep talk this week. My PMA (positive mental attitude) has up and left the building. I'm sure part of the problem is the lousy weather. I am having a hard time being positive about our adoption journey this week.
We've been keeping in touch with the agency once a month by email since going on the waiting list last May. The social worker that did our home study left last July. We did not get a new one until September. We decided we should meet her at some point and decided to give her time to settle in and for the holidays to pass. We were supposed to meet Tuesday after rescheduling due to the weather last Friday. Unfortunately, her son became ill (of which I am totally sympathetic to) and we canceled the meeting again.
She did her very best to be helpful and encouraged me to ask her any questions we had over the phone. Well, I would have preferred if Hunter had been home at the time. But I did have 2 pressing questions so I went ahead and asked. One was about how long our home study was valid. The other had to do with all this networking or "advocating for ourselves" that the agency had so strongly encouraged us to do. I asked what do we do if someone approaches us with a possible adoption.
The answer was given very enthusiastically. We just needed to call the agency. They would give us a list of adoption attorneys to contact to do the legal work. The agency would do the required amount of counseling for the mother. But everything else would be through the lawyer. Oh and don't worry about having to call an attorney, I was told. People get worried about how much it costs to hire a lawyer. But, it was stressed to me, this type of adoption costs less than an agency placement and really is the most common form of adoption today.
I listened in silence absolutely stunned. I was confused, but without Hunter there I did not want to say or hear anymore. I relayed the conversation to him later and he had the same reaction. If finding your own adoption situation is the norm of adoptions today, why on earth are we signed up with an agency? We were led to believe all you had to do was sign up, be patient and the agency will take care of the rest.
We actually went to another agency the very next day. We were going to have a one-on-one session with them to see what other options we might have. I hadn't planned on bringing up our current agency situation, but couldn't help myself. As I explained the conversation my voice rose and my arms flailed as if not connected to my body. "I don't understand" I kept repeating. The nice woman we met with was able to calm me down. She explained that this is the reality of domestic infant adoption today and her reasons made perfect sense. She did explain that some agencies still advertise as doing agency placements as their primary option, but parental placement is now the norm.
She said it was a shame for us to have come this far in the process and only now come to understand. I am glad we went for a second opinion. We probably won't switch agencies. But it is so depressing to know just how much more there is to this process. And nobody can seem to help you. It's like negotiating a maze with a blindfold on. You only figure out you're doing something wrong when you hit a wall. And hitting the wall makes you reluctant to continue for fear of making yet another mistake and wasting more time.
We've been keeping in touch with the agency once a month by email since going on the waiting list last May. The social worker that did our home study left last July. We did not get a new one until September. We decided we should meet her at some point and decided to give her time to settle in and for the holidays to pass. We were supposed to meet Tuesday after rescheduling due to the weather last Friday. Unfortunately, her son became ill (of which I am totally sympathetic to) and we canceled the meeting again.
She did her very best to be helpful and encouraged me to ask her any questions we had over the phone. Well, I would have preferred if Hunter had been home at the time. But I did have 2 pressing questions so I went ahead and asked. One was about how long our home study was valid. The other had to do with all this networking or "advocating for ourselves" that the agency had so strongly encouraged us to do. I asked what do we do if someone approaches us with a possible adoption.
The answer was given very enthusiastically. We just needed to call the agency. They would give us a list of adoption attorneys to contact to do the legal work. The agency would do the required amount of counseling for the mother. But everything else would be through the lawyer. Oh and don't worry about having to call an attorney, I was told. People get worried about how much it costs to hire a lawyer. But, it was stressed to me, this type of adoption costs less than an agency placement and really is the most common form of adoption today.
I listened in silence absolutely stunned. I was confused, but without Hunter there I did not want to say or hear anymore. I relayed the conversation to him later and he had the same reaction. If finding your own adoption situation is the norm of adoptions today, why on earth are we signed up with an agency? We were led to believe all you had to do was sign up, be patient and the agency will take care of the rest.
We actually went to another agency the very next day. We were going to have a one-on-one session with them to see what other options we might have. I hadn't planned on bringing up our current agency situation, but couldn't help myself. As I explained the conversation my voice rose and my arms flailed as if not connected to my body. "I don't understand" I kept repeating. The nice woman we met with was able to calm me down. She explained that this is the reality of domestic infant adoption today and her reasons made perfect sense. She did explain that some agencies still advertise as doing agency placements as their primary option, but parental placement is now the norm.
She said it was a shame for us to have come this far in the process and only now come to understand. I am glad we went for a second opinion. We probably won't switch agencies. But it is so depressing to know just how much more there is to this process. And nobody can seem to help you. It's like negotiating a maze with a blindfold on. You only figure out you're doing something wrong when you hit a wall. And hitting the wall makes you reluctant to continue for fear of making yet another mistake and wasting more time.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Super Bowl
Good luck to both teams tonight. But I will be cheering the Saints. They have had a terrific season. They don't even need to win tonight to prove that. It must be crazy in the city today. It is the middle of Mardi Gras. They would have had parades all weekend long. I heard there is no school tomorrow in anticipation of a win. Look out French Quarter! It's gonna be a loonngg night. I don't know all the technical stuff. But what I do know is the Saints have the most devoted fans. This is a crowd gathered at the Moonwalk prior to a game at the Superdome last November. Incredible. Bless you boys!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day was last Tuesday. Today I feel like I might as well be in the movie. Another Saturday, another snow storm! This one is not packing the wallop of the one last weekend. This time last Saturday we had a foot of snow. Today it's more like 2-3 inches. North of us they are not so lucky. My brother reports 20 inches so far. He says it's not much fun when you have a dachsund with only 2 inches of clearance from the ground. Our cat has got cabin fever as well. She has had to rely on the dreaded litter box for a week. That's not much fun for me either. As for Hunter and me, well, it's getting to be a little too much togetherness. To quote Jimmy Buffett - "This morning, I shot six holes im my freezer. I think I got cabin fever. Somebody sound the alarm." I gotta go where it's warm!!!
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