Open Adoption Round Table #8

The Open Adoption Round Table is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.

Publish your response during the next two weeks--linking back here so we can all find one other--and leave a link to your post in the comments. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.

One common thread running through the last batch of round table posts was that, even though balancing privacy concerns can be challenging, we keep blogging about adoption because the connections we make are worth the challenges.Blogging at its best is a conversation. An interaction between writers and readers who comment or even just mull over a post long after reading it. A paper journal gives you privacy, but it can never challenge your ideas or give you insight into another perspective. It never offers support in a difficult moment.

Blogging--or rather, the people reading and writing those blogs--can.There are people inside my computer--strangers--whose words have made a difference in my family's adoptions. That probably sounds nutty to those outside the blog world, but it's true. And I bet the same is true for many of you. In this round, I thought it would be interesting to recognize some of those people. Because I bet a lot of those folks don't even realize the effect they've had on us.Write about a blogger (or bloggers) who influenced your real-life open adoption, and how. It might be someone who became an offline friend who supports and challenges you. Or a writer who makes you uncomfortable, but gets you thinking. Maybe a blogger who doesn't even know you are reading. Tell us about them and how they've affected you.

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I have read the discussions at OART a few times, but have never participated. This one made me want to because I was just thinking of posting about this subject the other day. I began blogging at my social worker's suggestion. She sent me a couple of blog addresses and I started reading. And reading and reading. Hey, I'm playing the waiting game right now so I got a lot of time on my hands.

The first blog I ever read this summer was http://rebekahpinchback.blogspot.com/. At the time she was preparing to go to her child's birth mother's hometown in anticipation of his birth. I am always amazed at how eloquent she is no matter what the subject. And I was a little shocked at first to read just how open her relationship is with her son's birth mother. Definitely an eye opener.

I also enjoy reading this http://infertilitylicks.blogspot.com/. She has a young daughter through adoption. I always enjoy her posts. I like her perspective on issues adoptive parents face. Her posts always make me think and I really smile when she posts something humorous. I like her style.

After reading the forums at http://www.adoption.com/ one day, I came across this http://amstel-life.blogspot.com/. It was then I realized I needed to learn more about what birth mothers go through. Like I said, I was thinking about writing about how certain blogs had influenced me over the last few months. I have to say that hers is the one that really opened my eyes to open adoption. My husband and I were required to tell the agency just how open we were prepared to be in our adoption. We were pretty conservative and I think we said we were fine with pictures and updates at intervals to be decided between both sides. It was through Amy's post that I really began to understand the feelings of loss that birth mothers go through. It has me currently rethinking how open we should be in our adoption.

And as I wrote just yesterday, I have come to love this one http://999reasonstolaughatinfertility.blogspot.com/.

These are the ones that pretty much got me off and running in blogger world, but there are plenty of others that I read and am still discovering. I'm even branching out and reading blogs outside of the subject of adoption. Again, I'm waiting. Lots and lots of time... Hat's off to all! I'm so thankful for all of you out there who are blogging and sharing.