Bracing for the Holidays

Thank goodness it's a short work week. I wound up being pretty busy this weekend (and still didn't get everything done). My brother and nephew called Saturday morning to say they were coming for a visit. So we spent the afternoon with them. My nephew is such a clown when he has an audience.

We found out what he wanted for Christmas. All he would say is "Bat Cave". So Mom and I headed to the toy store Sunday. She wanted to get some holiday shopping done before they go on a 12 day cruise next Monday. I went along as driver. I'm not ready for shopping yet.

I have been dreading the whole holiday season and now it's here. The last three years were awful. I hated every commercial, every song on the radio, every stupid Christmas sweater I saw. I went through the motions. I sent out our cards and put up the tree. But I was just so angry inside and wanted it to all go away. Having my niece and nephew to buy for and watch open presents helped, but not enough.

We hadn't pursued any IF treatments since the summer of 2006, but we hadn't moved forward to adoption either. I tried to put it all from my mind because it just made me so angry. We could not decide what to do next. Just two years of limbo land.

Then last December, my mother called out of the blue and asked if we wanted to adopt a baby. What?? I thought she was joking or just being cruel. But no, she is an ER nurse and one of her co-workers knew of a young woman who was pregnant and not sure what to do. It had gotten through the hospital grapevine that we might possibly be interested in adoption. Hunter and I hadn't talked about adoption since the previous February. So I decided it was now or never and brought up the subject with this information. I could finally see it in his eyes. He was ready to adopt.

We didn't have a home study or an agency. I just knew it was fruitless to get involved in this situation. But I called one of the agencies we had encountered during our research. God bless the young woman who answered the phone and listened to me ramble on about our situation. Could we even have a chance with this baby if the mother decided on adoption, I asked. The answer was yes but we were not in the agency's service area. She gave me a number, I called. They gave me another number. I called. And finally I found an agency. I called my mother's co-worker that night and gave her all our contact numbers. I never heard anything else. But, later we went to the agency's info session and decided right there to go forward.

And now, nearly a year later, here we are. Waiting. But not nearly as bitter as the past few years. I am actually looking forward to decorating the house and listening to carols on the radio. I've even had my eye on one of those Christmas sweaters. I'm sure we'll get lots of questions about the adoption and I will happily say "We are waiting. Tell everyone you know!! And please pray for us".