"In the happy moments...Praise God. In the difficult moments... Seek God. In the quiet moments... Trust God. In EVERY moment...Thank God!!! Happy Thanksgiving!"
As I was trying to figure out how to write this post, I noticed the above quote on one of my Facebook friend's wall. And it appropriately sums up what I wanted to express today.
About this time last year I made a couple of decisions. One was to approach every day with a positive attitude. Every moment in our journey to adopt was to be faced with optimism. For those of you out there who have been there or are going through that journey, you know how hard that can be. But I have managed it very well this past year. And for that, I am thankful.
The other thing was to give my heart over to God and His Will. I am not an overly religious person. So this was a big step and it happened in a really odd moment. I was watching a PBS program by Rick Steves. It was a Christmas special documenting all the different ways Christmas is celebrated in Europe. One of the recurring themes was light. Candlelight shining in the darkness of cold winter nights. It was so beautiful. I made my mind up while watching the program to let that light in.
I said a prayer right there and then thanking God. And I decided I would speak with Him more often. Not to ask Him to give me anything. But to thank Him for everything. To thank Him for my husband. To thank Him for my family. To thank Him for every day. To thank Him for putting the desire to adopt in my heart. I also decided to give as much as I could during this year. I called it "The Year of Giving". But I should have called it "The Year of Being Thankful"!
The only thing I asked for was patience. That prayer has made this last year so much more bearable. Hunter and I just decided to get on with life and not worry about when we would become parents. We spent this last year living for each other. I think that is what needed to happen to make us finally ready to become parents. And for that, I am also thankful.
So, thank you, Melanie for posting that wonderful thought today. Please know that you have inspired me. I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving Day and a joyous holiday season filled with the true meaning of Christmas.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Home Study Update
Today we had a meeting with our adoption agency's social worker to update our Home Study. Our Virginia Home Study conducted in 2009 is valid until May 2011. But the agency that is handling the placement is in Texas and there, Home Studies are only valid for one year. I thought we would just be able to go to the agency for a meeting. But no, the social worker needed to come to our house.
As you can imagine, there was a frenzy of cleaning going on this weekend, Monday and Tuesday. I'm talking about going so far as washing windows and cleaning ceiling fan blades. I even got home a little early to do some last minute tidying up this afternoon. And then I panicked about our basement which is still in the progress of being finished. Should I write something up showing how we would spend the next few months putting the final touches on the basement? Would she insist on seeing it like our last social worker did when she came to visit us a year and a half ago? Even though we have done this before, I started having all kinds of paranoid thoughts. Maybe she would check the cabinets to make sure we didn't have any cleaning products within a child's reach. And on top of everything, she was about a half hour late allowing me more time to let my imagination run wild.
And in the end, she just sat us down at the dining room table and we had a lovely hour or so with her explaining the paperwork we needed to fill out. Most of it is just an update of forms we have filled out before. She did ask a few questions about what our plans were for maternity leave and child care after Baby comes home. But that was it. This is our third social worker at this agency since we started and this was our first time meeting her. Well, I hope she sticks around. We had a great chat with her and she was so helpful in so many ways. And the only time she left the dining room was to use the restroom just a few steps away. Ah, all that extra cleaning (and worrying) for nothing.
As you can imagine, there was a frenzy of cleaning going on this weekend, Monday and Tuesday. I'm talking about going so far as washing windows and cleaning ceiling fan blades. I even got home a little early to do some last minute tidying up this afternoon. And then I panicked about our basement which is still in the progress of being finished. Should I write something up showing how we would spend the next few months putting the final touches on the basement? Would she insist on seeing it like our last social worker did when she came to visit us a year and a half ago? Even though we have done this before, I started having all kinds of paranoid thoughts. Maybe she would check the cabinets to make sure we didn't have any cleaning products within a child's reach. And on top of everything, she was about a half hour late allowing me more time to let my imagination run wild.
And in the end, she just sat us down at the dining room table and we had a lovely hour or so with her explaining the paperwork we needed to fill out. Most of it is just an update of forms we have filled out before. She did ask a few questions about what our plans were for maternity leave and child care after Baby comes home. But that was it. This is our third social worker at this agency since we started and this was our first time meeting her. Well, I hope she sticks around. We had a great chat with her and she was so helpful in so many ways. And the only time she left the dining room was to use the restroom just a few steps away. Ah, all that extra cleaning (and worrying) for nothing.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Rule Britannia!
Here's a confession: I am a Britophile. I can't explain when it first occurred to me that I was. It has a lot to do with my Dad's family's English roots. But specifically I became enamoured of all things British beginning with the announcement of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer's impending nuptials in 1981. I have been following the British Royals ever since. I remember the Wales' wedding day like it was yesterday. For better or worse, I couldn't keep myself from reading the gossip during the Windsor soap opera when they separated and divorced. And, of course, I was heartbroken for Diana's sons when she died in the crash in Paris in 1997.
So when I awoke this morning to see the breaking news of William and Kate's engagement, I felt I had come full circle. It's silly and I know plenty of folks in Britain who wish the Monarchy would go away. But I love it. And when I found out today that William presented his fiancee with his mother's engagement ring when asking for her hand in marriage. Well....waterworks!
Congratulations to the happy couple!
So when I awoke this morning to see the breaking news of William and Kate's engagement, I felt I had come full circle. It's silly and I know plenty of folks in Britain who wish the Monarchy would go away. But I love it. And when I found out today that William presented his fiancee with his mother's engagement ring when asking for her hand in marriage. Well....waterworks!
Congratulations to the happy couple!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Not the kind of labor I expected
When we wed 7 years ago, my husband and I knew we wanted children sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, it didn't happen the way we thought it would. Now we have been blessed with a potential adoption and we are over the moon. Sure, I would have liked to have seen that positive sign on a pregnancy test and go through all the morning sickness and ultrasounds and picking out maternity clothes. But it just wasn't meant to be and we have accepted this a long time ago.
The waiting period for an adoption makes you crazy. When you are pregnant, you can start picking out nursery decor or car seats. You have doctor's appointments and need to make arrangements for child care or maternity leave. You have busy tasks to do and a limited time in which to accomplish them. On the other hand, waiting for a birth mother to pick you leaves days and days of what ifs. It's limbo. You know that one day you will be a parent, but are left wondering what it will be like when that happens.
Well, it appears to be happening for us. After so many years of disappointment, it is hard to change your mindset and just yell "Yipee". I know, I'm Miss PMA, but we have become cautiously optimistic. Every day I get a little more excited. Today, we received Baby's first ultrasound pictures. I can't even describe my emotions about this.
And while pregnant parents are figuring out the nursery and getting ready for Baby Showers, we are inundated with paperwork. We have to have our Home Study updated. In Virginia, our Home Study would be valid until next May. But the adoption will be finalized in Texas and there you have to update the Home Study every year. The agency sent us a list of documents that we need to compile for them in addition to the Home Study update. It is amazing how much documentation is needed to satisfy state laws. One is that we need to provide documentation that our pet's vaccinations are up to date. It is that specific.
I have no problem providing the required information. But, my goodness, we already answered the most personal questions ever to qualify to be an adoptive couple and now this. I'm not complaining. I consider it an honor to go through all this scrutiny and all this paperwork and still be considered good enough to be honored with the placement of a child in our home. It's just a different kind of labor than I expected.
The waiting period for an adoption makes you crazy. When you are pregnant, you can start picking out nursery decor or car seats. You have doctor's appointments and need to make arrangements for child care or maternity leave. You have busy tasks to do and a limited time in which to accomplish them. On the other hand, waiting for a birth mother to pick you leaves days and days of what ifs. It's limbo. You know that one day you will be a parent, but are left wondering what it will be like when that happens.
Well, it appears to be happening for us. After so many years of disappointment, it is hard to change your mindset and just yell "Yipee". I know, I'm Miss PMA, but we have become cautiously optimistic. Every day I get a little more excited. Today, we received Baby's first ultrasound pictures. I can't even describe my emotions about this.
And while pregnant parents are figuring out the nursery and getting ready for Baby Showers, we are inundated with paperwork. We have to have our Home Study updated. In Virginia, our Home Study would be valid until next May. But the adoption will be finalized in Texas and there you have to update the Home Study every year. The agency sent us a list of documents that we need to compile for them in addition to the Home Study update. It is amazing how much documentation is needed to satisfy state laws. One is that we need to provide documentation that our pet's vaccinations are up to date. It is that specific.
I have no problem providing the required information. But, my goodness, we already answered the most personal questions ever to qualify to be an adoptive couple and now this. I'm not complaining. I consider it an honor to go through all this scrutiny and all this paperwork and still be considered good enough to be honored with the placement of a child in our home. It's just a different kind of labor than I expected.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Learning about Fostering to Adopt
Please visit Penelope at Foster 2 Forever. She has an adoption celebration going on for National Adoption Month. You can join her Blog Hop or sign up for some giveaways. But most of all you can learn about fostering to adopt!
Monday, November 1, 2010
National Adoption Month
November is National Adoption Month. Last year when I found out about National Adoption Month, it was when Nia Vardalos was spotlighted for adopting a young child and I was inspired by her story. Now, a year later, we are at the of beginning our own journey to adoption.
Last week was unlike anything I have ever imagined. There have been all kinds of well wishes on our making an adoption match. But there have been unexpected reactions too. Some folks are content just to say "Good Luck". But then there are others who get very carried away with asking questions. They want to know our birth mother's story and why she agreed to place her child for adoption. Or what about the birth father? Could he come and take the baby? Those are the tough questions. On the one hand, if it is a good friend asking, I'm torn. I know I can trust them, but should I?
Baby's birth mother has a right to privacy. Her story is not mine to tell. But her story will always be a part of Baby's story. You can see the dilemma. Thankfully, I understood the reasons behind the questions. In this case the questions came from those who have witnessed Hunter and I go through a lot of disappointments over the years. They just wanted to be sure we were making the best decision for our adoption.
And probably the biggest revelation this past week is in realizing so many people don't know much about adoption at all. I got really basic questions like how would we get Baby? Would the lawyer bring the baby to us? I didn't mind these questions. In fact, those questions tell me that I need to do as much as I can to educate the folks around me about adoption. I realized they don't know, because they don't need to know. They aren't asking questions just to be nosey.
I have lived and breathed and researched adoption for the last 4 years. I can't expect the people who care about me to know what I know. But I am glad that they care. And I guess that's the point of National Adoption Month. So those of you out there who see me in the street, feel free to ask me anything. Just be warned that I can't or won't share every little detail about this match. All anyone really needs to know is that Baby and Baby's mother(s) are doing just fine.
Last week was unlike anything I have ever imagined. There have been all kinds of well wishes on our making an adoption match. But there have been unexpected reactions too. Some folks are content just to say "Good Luck". But then there are others who get very carried away with asking questions. They want to know our birth mother's story and why she agreed to place her child for adoption. Or what about the birth father? Could he come and take the baby? Those are the tough questions. On the one hand, if it is a good friend asking, I'm torn. I know I can trust them, but should I?
Baby's birth mother has a right to privacy. Her story is not mine to tell. But her story will always be a part of Baby's story. You can see the dilemma. Thankfully, I understood the reasons behind the questions. In this case the questions came from those who have witnessed Hunter and I go through a lot of disappointments over the years. They just wanted to be sure we were making the best decision for our adoption.
And probably the biggest revelation this past week is in realizing so many people don't know much about adoption at all. I got really basic questions like how would we get Baby? Would the lawyer bring the baby to us? I didn't mind these questions. In fact, those questions tell me that I need to do as much as I can to educate the folks around me about adoption. I realized they don't know, because they don't need to know. They aren't asking questions just to be nosey.
I have lived and breathed and researched adoption for the last 4 years. I can't expect the people who care about me to know what I know. But I am glad that they care. And I guess that's the point of National Adoption Month. So those of you out there who see me in the street, feel free to ask me anything. Just be warned that I can't or won't share every little detail about this match. All anyone really needs to know is that Baby and Baby's mother(s) are doing just fine.
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