PMA Recharged!

"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. "
~ W. W. Ziege

I didn't realize it until yesterday, but I have really been in a funk for about the last 6 weeks. I guess it started with this, Pity Party. That phone conversation basically made me feel like we were on the road to nowhere with regards to our adoption. Add to that the lousy, no, brutal winter weather we've been experiencing on the east coast, well you can kind of see what it would do to a person.

It all came to a head this past weekend. On Sunday I had a brainstorm. Why not try calling an adoption attorney? We were set to have an early meeting with our social worker on Thursday which meant we could fit in another meeting later that day. So I emailed the attorney that had been most recommended to us. I did not expect an answer until Monday, but she actually emailed me back that afternoon saying she could meet us. I suggested a meeting time and waited to hear back. Just before bed I got her reply. The time was fine for her and she followed up with what the consultation would cover. And, oh, her fee was $325!

Well, I guess that was the proverbial last straw. I lost it and weeks of frustration and disappointment came spilling out in uncontrollable tears. I basically cried myself to sleep. And things didn't get much better the next morning when my co-worker had an adoption tip for me. God bless her. She was only trying to help, but was unaware of my breakdown the night before. More tears, I'm afraid.

Nevertheless, Hunter said to go ahead with the appointment. I spent the next few days worrying excessively. Would this be worth the money? Or would she just tell me what I already knew? I even emailed my fellow blogger, Julie at A Family is Born, to see who they were using. It was the same lawyer and she assured me that she definitely recommended her. That helped me relax a bit.

Thursday came. It was a gorgeous day. Sunny and warm with all the Springtime flowers in bloom. We had a 9am meeting with our social worker. I was trying to keep an open mind but our last conversation and how it made me feel is what I opened with. I could hardly keep my voice from cracking while I was trying to be diplomatic about my feelings. To her credit, I felt she handled everything very well. We spent about an hour hashing things out. We did discover that we probably needed to make an addendum to our home study pertaining to our increasingly positive feelings for an open adoption. Overall, it was a good meeting. I left with more positive feelings than negative.

Then it was on to the meeting with the attorney. Now, Hunter and I have NEVER had to consult a lawyer about anything in our lives. So this was pretty intimidating. Luckily, the attorney was anything but intimidating.

After the introductions and niceties, she hit the floor running with her presentation. We found her very likable and a wealth of information. It is obvious she has spent years building contacts within the adoption world. We discussed networking strategies. Some I had thought of. Some I had not. She showed us examples of parent profiles, some good and some not so good. She did it all with a positive attitude with some humor thrown in. At the same time she was honest with us emphasizing that we had a lot of work ahead of us. She said some of her clients treat their adoption search like a part-time job. We should have been overwhelmed by that statement, but we were not. Her main point was that anyone hoping to adopt should be openly pursuing every possible avenue to make a match. We agreed to take her on as our attorney and we left the meeting full of optimism.

Do I think she is a miracle worker? No. Do I think she is a woman with a plan? Definitely. Industrious is the word Hunter used to describe her. So with two great meetings under our belt on a beautiful spring day, here we go! No looking back at what has passed. Just PMA!!