What this means is that Richard is still a ward of Children's Home Society and we are still his guardians/prospective adoptive parents. Once the final order of adoption is signed by the judge, we then have to apply for a new birth certificate and social security number for him. So it looks like we will be filing an extension on our tax return this year. But this is just a blip on the radar screen of our adoption journey. So, we are not too worried about it.
In the mean time, I saw this article about Mariska Hargitay who has adopted two children. In the article she says something Hunter and I heard several times during our adoption jouney, "Adoption is not for the faint of heart". Her description of her adoption journey really struck a chord in me. She and her husband went through a failed placement. While she acknowledges how painful the experience was, she also points out that it was the best thing for the birth parent and her child.
I think this attitude is the most important thing prospective adoptive parents have to realize. It is not about you. It is about finding the right home for the child. I know I was guilty of the "why me?" syndrome when we had infertility issues. It continued when we decided to adopt and when the waiting period dragged on and on. Then one day, it all clicked for me. The most important person in the adoption triad (birth parent, child, adoptive parent) is the child. This realization helped me redirect my frustrations about adopting into making sure I was living my life to the fullest and not just waiting for a child to come into our lives.
I'm so glad Mariska has shared her adoption experiences. She didn't have to. It's nobody's business. But, thankfully, like Nia Vardalos, she has chosen to use her celebrity to highlight just how fantastic adoption can be.
